NETWORK: @peach0341 (anonymous) [post soujuurou's wild ride]

[destage]

What would you consider the most unforgivable thing that a person could do to you? Something that someone could do, that they could never take back?

If it has been done to you, what happened? How did you treat that person afterward, if you kept in contact with them? If you didn't, do you regret ever severing off from them?

Have you done anything unforgivable? How did people respond to that--did they let you get a word in edge-wise to explain, or did they abandon you? Did you have to find your own way afterwards? How did it go for you, if so?

Do you think there's anything that one can do to earn forgiveness, depending on the severity of what happened? Do they deserve it? Does it depend? And is there a certain point that someone's allowed to give up on trying to find it, and should just stop trying to be good?

I'm curious as to what everyone's answers will be. Please don't give anymore info than you're comfortable with; these are just things that have been on my mind, lately. And please don't be rude to each other.

[this seems. infinitely more like a stream of conscious than anything actually coherent, but there's at least an attempt at maintaining some modicum of privacy. have at. be it on main or giving yourself a nice plurk-style anon-name, go for it.]

Comments

@chocolate1836

[vogelfrei]

I've done something unforgivable. I betrayed somebody who trusted me wholly.

They responded by chasing me to the edge of the world for revenge, but in the end, they were still weeping for me.

I had never wanted their forgiveness until that moment. Yet, now I still think about the tantalizing fantasy of them giving it.

[destage]

I see. That sounds like a very difficult situation that you were in. Earning someone's trust only to betray it...I can only scarcely imagine how either of you felt.

[Tears, maybe. Screaming arguments, perhaps. But--]

You wanted their forgiveness because they wept for you...

Why is that, if you don't mind me asking? Do you think they would have been ready to give it to you, in that moment, or is it something else?

@star104

[finalmix]

the most irrational thing a person has ever said to me was that they could never forgive me, but they trusted me anyway.

even after i broke every ounce of their trust.

@mango65

[goei]

Why did you do it?

@star104 (anonymous)

[finalmix]

that depends on what your definition of unforgivable is, i suppose.

i did, however, think very seriously about wiping out my city entirely.

[destage]

I'm leaving that definition to those who want to answer the question or not. I feel like I'll get more interesting answers that way, if I leave it open ended.

Wiping out a whole city, though...I'm curious. Was there a particular reason for it?

@bento2832

[cirquedesang]

What is unforgivable to one may be a blessing to another. I cannot recall how many 'unforgivable' things have been done to me...

But one of those actions saved my life. I don't consider it an unforgivable act, but someone else I know had the same thing inflicted upon them and she would do anything to have it undone.

And as for another of those actions, I took a series of unforgivable actions myself to force the perpetrators to atone, without care for anyone else I hurt in the process, and I never put myself in a place to be confronted for those actions, nor would I expect forgiveness if I did. I didn't forgive, after all.

I still haven't.

The rest is dust.

Whether forgiveness or hate is deserved... depends. I will not pry as to what the action you are seeking forgiveness for is, if you do not wish to share it, as I am not the person you're seeking forgiveness from... And even they may not give it, even if you deserve it.

If you wish to try continuing to be good, that's reason enough, no matter what is in the past. If you need to move forward and start over, so be it.

cw: neglect

[destage]

...Interesting.

Please don't misunderstand; I'm mostly asking this for the sake of learning the perspective of others. It's something I really don't understand. The work I did, it's ensured that I really can't feel anything. Or at the very least there feels like there's a gap, because I'm so used to faking things.

At any rate, it sounds like you've lived a long life of doing and receiving those actions and accepted them. I take it you wouldn't change anything you did, considering it saved your life and got your revenge on someone?

[There's a pause, between that going out and the next bit.]

I don't know. I think that all that being good has done has managed to screw me up irreparably. I spent my whole life chasing it, because I couldn't understand the world around me and why I got left behind by almost everyone. I spent a long time trying to be 'good', putting my effort towards it, and in the end I hurt a lot of people to try and find someone who might care.

If I had to seek forgiveness from the people I hurt, I'd be looking at seeking the forgiveness of at least forty people, at minimum. At maximum, well over one hundred million of them.

I don't think one moves forward from that.

@doll6372

[prozaic]

Are you seeking opinions, or anecdotes? Because, truthfully, the severity of such things are always dependent on the person who has been wronged, and even then, they have to decide if there was any wrongdoing to forgive.

For example, you have a dear friend who remembers next to nothing of your childhood together, of growing up under people who demanded the very best out of you or else you would be discarded, a real threat. As adults, your dear friend is aware that something happened to both of you as children, but not the specifics, and seeks the answers to all their questions by retracing both your steps, ending up in mortal danger a number of times due to the path they have been following. On the other hand, you have all of your memories, but you hold your tongue because you know that if you tell them, they would chase your shared past and likely end up stirring up a horror that neither of you are capable of dealing with. Thus, you watch them hurt themselves while you hold revelations but more suffering in your hands.

Like this little story, the answers to your questions have far more nuance than you may be seeking. One of the best answers I can give, truly, is to "be in that situation, and decide the answer for yourself in that exact moment".

[destage]

Both are fine. Whatever anyone is comfortable giving me, I'll take. I want to understand everything better. And that means getting the perspective of others around me, right? Even if I can't understand them.

What you're talking about sounds similar to a place I went into, thinking that it would be an escape into a better life. It wasn't, but it wasn't nearly as...well, dire of a situation as what happened with you and your friend. It sounds like ignorance was truly bliss for them, up until they tried to find out what actually happened.

I'm not going to pass judgement either way, but shielding your friend from that, or at least trying to...I think that would be considered a kind thing. Maybe. I can't say I know very well. I take it you don't know of a way to convince them to stop hurting themself in pursuit of this, or have tried. I won't pry, but...it's a curious situation.

I appreciate it, though. I don't think I can trust my own judgement in these kinds of situations, though. It's never gone well. But I appreciate your perspective.

@coconut4861

[kandata]

Shortly before I arrived here, I was among people who were demanded to do something unforgivable. One person did it, and we all had to figure out how and why. In the end, what mattered to us was the motivation behind it. The punishment for it was execution, and so that happened.

Some held a grudge against her, but the majority were willing to give the benefit of doubt and believe in her kindness and her sincere wish for everyone else's wellbeing.

Not long afterwards, I myself committed the same action. It was a painful decision that tears me apart, especially because of the consequences it could bring to people I cared about, yet to this day I stand I took the right decision, even though was, by definition, a betrayal of everyone's trust. I got caught for it, and underwent the same fate of execution.

Frankly, I am very bitter about it. I do not blame they had to do it, but I feel spite regardless. Obviously, I did not want to die, and I did all in my power to attempt to prevent it, even if it meant at least one person dying on my place.

And yet, despite it all, I know more people than I thought were willing to look past what I did and not wish for my death. I heard them rooting for my escape. Even though I betrayed them, they were willing to not subject me to such a fate. While it did not work, there's only one conclusion:

The unforgivable cannot be forgiven, but it can be understood. Explanations are the first step. And while not everyone will accept them, or sympathize with the reasons, there are some who will. Take solace on that.

1/2 (cw: typical dangan ronpa shit, something akin to a mini mental breakdown)

[destage]

[...

Something about the circumstances that Coconut describes gives Sayaka pause. Sayaka was never around long enough to watch anyone but herself kill. She was the one who struck first, for the sake of her friends (were they really her friends? or were they the only people she could stand because--), but she never saw the aftermath. The only thing she was able to do was to try and make sure that Kuwata couldn't get the motive himself, that he'd fail, that Naegi wouldn't be hurt and that Kuwata would fail--

(But what was it that motivated her in the end? The need to save someone she barely knew, or the spite of not wanting Kuwata to get something she couldn't have? Which is it? Which is it, truly? Sayaka doesn't know and it's--)

It takes a bit for Sayaka to respond to all of that. It's like seeing the witch and the wolf again--the mastermind and the puppet. Sayaka almost doesn't want to respond to this, because of the avenues it opens up in her head. If they had to find out who did it and why, and the punishment was execution--what happened? What happened if Naegi found her lifeless body? Was the clue she even left behind worth it? Would they even understand? Kuwata was so distracted that she only barely got it out with the last of her strength, but what would have happened to him? Even if she hated him for thinking her dream so simple to attain, even if his flirtations were disgusting to her, even if she wanted him to think with his brain rather than something unfavorable...

Did...did she hurt everyone even worse than she could have imagined?]

2/2 (cw: idol industry fuckery)

[destage]

...What you went through sounds very similar to the circumstances I was in before I came here.

[Sayaka tries not to dwell on it too much. She can stuff it down. She can process it later.

(Why, why, why--)]

It sounds like a complicated circumstance. Commit a grave action, or have one committed against you, and having to find out why they did it...it sounds like a lot of pressure. And it sounds like you knew very well what the consequences were for your actions, after watching the first.

...I don't think that solace deserves to be given for something terrible. People are meant to live with those kinds of actions for the rest of their lives. I don't understand that. I don't understand providing understanding to stuff like that, either. When you do something terrible, you receive judgement for it. And that judgement can be anything from unpersoning, to groveling until you've found an apology that everyone will be satisfied with. And sometimes you don't. Sometimes people think you deserve worse, and are willing to enact it.

[Stalkers. The idols who've dated other men and been made to grovel and do anything to gain the forgiveness of others. Any number of things.]

I imagine you've left out a lot for your own privacy, Coconut, so please understand that I'm not trying to pass judgement on you one way or another. Your circumstances are your own, and I won't disrespect you by doing that.

...I appreciate your perspective, but I don't think that's how most of the world works. I am glad that if nothing else, there were people rooting for you. You must have done a bad thing for a very good reason.

@banana9881

[moodwrecker]

i don't know. before i came here i'd probably say something like "killed my friends" but after seeing some of the crap people here went through, there's probably even worse things i can't even imagine.

i think

all you can really do is apologize and try to be better. but no one has to accept your apology and like i said everyone here has gone through way more than me.

[#NormieProblems.]

[destage]

[...Sayaka is going to be perfectly respectful of everyone's trauma here and not call Banana's chump change or anything, that's rude--]

We all have different...what's the word, barometers? For things like that. What's the worst for you is different for someone else. I'm not going to inquire about what happened if you don't want to go into it.

I think I get what you mean, though. It really is always left to the judgement of others, though based on some of the answers I've seen, I think some people might be a little too forgiving for their own good.

But you are right, Banana. I can agree with that. I can't say I know what better looks like, but I think that is a good way of looking at it.

@cheese5834 | cw parental neglect

[supherb]

[Anon or not, there are like three other people here who might recognize the content of this post since he's not going to be 100% vague.]

I don't know if I've got any good answers for you on deserving forgiveness because I'm still trying to figure out my own feelings on that. But I guess I can talk about my own experiences. Maybe it'll be cathartic. IDK.

I only had one parent growing up and he was barely around because he was too into his work to raise me. I had to learn how to do everything on my own. Cooking, cleaning, school, you name it. There was one point that he actually lived with me but I was stupid to think it would last. I resented him and the subject of his work a lot. I still do, I think. Maybe not the work subject as much anymore, but I still can't understand why he abandoned me even when he said he loved me. How could he love me when he would rather kill anyone in his way INCLUDING ME than let his stupid dream be ruined?

I'll never get the chance to figure it out with him because he's gone now.

cw continued

[destage]

[...Oh. Oh, that's--]

I didn't think experiences like that were so universal.

[--And that's out onto the page before she can stop it, and she scrambles to write a second message--]

I'm sorry, that was disrespectful and I don't know why it posted like that?! Please just ignore that. Ugh.

But no, that's...I had a family member who was quite similar, so I get it. Worked long hours, wasn't around, and I had to learn to cook for myself because the few times he tried, he was utterly abysmal at it. He wasn't even passionate about his work or anything. He was like a puppet that his boss had the strings to.

What your father did to you...it's horrible. There's no way around it, and I can imagine why that would leave you with complicated feelings. The fact that he would have killed everyone including you to see his dream fulfilled is awful, even if he may have loved you at the end of it all.

...I'm sorry you'll never get those answers, Cheese. To be left with a burden like that, it's terrible--and I hope putting it to text was at least a little cathartic for you.

Is there anything you would have wanted to say to him? I don't know if it'll help, but you can yell into here, if you want.

@moon6472

[bloodweapon]

I was in the process of doing something unforgivable to someone I care deeply for when I was brought here. I've asked myself if I should change course when I return or if I should continue the path I chose, and my answer has always remained the same. I would continue to lie to him, hurt him, and hurt those around him if it means protecting him.

I don't seek his forgiveness. All I want is for him to be safe. If it means he loathes me for all that I've done, then so be it.

But it sounds as though your situation is quite different. Do you seek forgiveness for this act of yours? Do you hope that by hearing our stories it may help ease your burden?

[There's no way to get it across through text, but that isn't supposed to be pointed, just curious.]

[destage]

It sounds like you've long accepted the actions that are unforgivable. Keeping him safe seems to be paramount to you, even if it sounds like you've been willing to do something terrible for it.

Do you regret any of it, you think? That sounds like an awfully isolating life to lead, for both you and him. If he ever found out, what do you think would happen?

[Sayaka gets the next part out in another part, and perhaps surprisingly, her own text is very level.]

Not at all, actually. This world has always been strange and confusing to try and navigate through to me. The way the world has worked and the way that they've shown it on TV, it's all so different. Even if the latter is the only thing I really know, and I've had that illusion shattered quite thoroughly as time has gone on. So I've tried to adapt, putting on good face after good face, even if I can't feel things. Or can't feel them right. I'm not sure.

What I want is to understand the world, because everything is so strange and foreign to me. I figure that if maybe I try seeing it through the eyes of others, that maybe I can gain some insight into it. All I've been every time I've tried to do anything is confused, because nothing I've ever done has gone right even when I tried.

My burdens are my own to bear, just as yours are. But I guess to answer your question...no, because I don't think what I've done deserves forgiveness.

And I wouldn't want it, either. It'd feel disgusting, at this point.

@peach5037 | cw vague allusion to torture

[cleansewithfire]

I think I may not be the most reassuring person to speak on this.

[ She's just going to say this straight off because that almost immediately came to mind for her.

Also, like maybe 3 people might be able to figure out who she is based on one word alone, but Sunrise isn't thinking about that, specifically. ]

I think people should stay far, far away from necromancy, even if I would understand their reasons for it. Nothing good comes from disturbing the dead.

But what I think is most unforgivable is to prolong someone's suffering and deliberately kill them slowly and painfully. More so when they beg for mercy.

[ This is definitely not morbid or at all ominous, truly. ]

It was not done to me, but something unforgivable was done to someone I am closely related to. I cannot forgive the ones responsible. And if I were to speak to them, it is to make sure they remember what they have done, and that the truth has never been forgotten.

Personally, I doubt they are sorry about it. If they do not wish to atone, then they must be punished.

cw continued

[destage]

[...This is probably the most clearly cut situation Sayaka has seen all day, and that is saying something--]

Even if the topic is unpleasant, it's still a worthwhile perspective to have. I wasn't asking this for reassurance sake. I want to understand this strange and irrational world, and doing it myself was doing nothing. I figured that seeing it through the eyes of others might help.

As for that experience...honestly, I think all of that is perfectly understandable. The dead deserve to stay in the ground once their time is up, and to make someone suffer like that is completely unforgivable. They deserve to live with their crimes forever more, so nothing like that can happen again. I think you're perfectly in the right, Peach. ...Peach 2? Something.

It's a pretty cut and dry situation. If they did it out of malice, they should be punished.

...Would you want to be the one to administer that punishment, if they were to be found by you?

@apple6281

[beathollow]

I think

It depends on the people, and on the crime.

I once told myself I could forgive the one who crushed me entirely. I don't think I can, anymore. But I've found myself able to overlook terrible things in others here, simply because they treat me with such kindness.

I don't know if this is good or not. I don't know if I should feel guilty, or continue going onward.

Maybe someone else can forgive her. I can't. And maybe someone can forgive you, and the one you wronged can't. Or maybe they can.


Perhaps it depends on the strength in one's heart.

I don't know.

[destage]

[Sayaka reads through all of that dutifully and carefully. It's something she can understand all too well--crushed down into nothingness, until you're naught but the person the world wants you to be. Sanded down until there's nothing left. Finding solace in the terrible people here, to an extent...]

You don't have to forgive anyone you don't want to, Apple. And there's nothing wrong with finding solace in people who have done...terrible things. But your forgiveness should be yours to carry out and yours alone, and if anyone else wants to forgive her for whatever reason...you still don't have to.

I think I understand what you mean, to an extent. I...my emotions are so sanded down that I think it's all a performance sometimes, but there are a lot of deciding factors at play. So I get the basics. I think.

...For what it's worth, Apple, I think you did a very good job of wording your opinions. If it's okay for me to ask...what do you mean by the strength in one's heart?

@e.walsh

[fullmoonmutt]

[ WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE

eli isn't aware anonymous posting is an option??? ]

R U ALL NEW PEOPLE?!!1
DID BRAPHINE KIDNAP MORE
shit these r real deep questions 2 ask
when uve just shown up what the hell

@yuki25jnd

[beathollow]

It's an anon feature, Eli.

@langportboy

[imperiosity]

[stares at this long list of anons……… no wonder honesty week was so unpopular huh]

anything some shithead tries with me won’t ever compare to a group of psychos murdering my friends in cold blood. even if they went on their knees and begged for forgiveness till they were blue in the face, they’ve done enough crap to other people that I’d tell them to cram it up their ass.

besides, if someone’s got so much time on their hands they’re pissing it away by thinking of people’s forgiveness, they oughta use it on figuring out where they went wrong so they can set things right.

[destage]

[...It's harsh, but Sayaka can at least see where's it's coming from. It's why she doesn't really rise to the second part of that, but...]

...I'm not sure what to say in regards to that first bit that won't possibly come off as potentially demeaning or offensive. I could tell you that they didn't deserve that--you didn't deserve that, and it would feel more insulting than anything. But I think you're very in the right to never forgive them. I hope you're able to get some kind of vengeance, at least.

As for the rest...I do know what went wrong, and I died for it. I shouldn't even be here to pick up any sort of pieces. The only thing I managed to do was clear a friend's name, and even that I don't know if I did right.

I don't understand the world, and wanted to understand it through someone else's eyes, bluntly put. I don't know where to start, and if I even can. I don't really even deserve it, but I wanted to at least try.

@manslayer

[goei]

[He's not even bothering with anon because his answer is too obviously from him.]

Even I know shit like this is way too damn complicated for there to be one clear answer

Like there's murder, but I've killed a lotta people. And then it's different than the murders that guy Argenti killed did, apparently?
Plus some people're mad at Argenti fer killing him too

The two people I trusted the most stood aside and let me get killed
I wanted to hate them for it and stay mad forever
But in my palace I had to properly admit that wanting to be mad and actually being mad are two different things

I guess I'm sayin' sometimes people act a certain way just because they feel like they're supposed to

[destage]

[Sometimes people act a certain way just because they feel like they're supposed to.

...Boy, isn't that something Sayaka resonates with deeply. Still, she reads over Izou's words carefully, considering them.]

That's okay. I expected going into this that there wouldn't be one universal answer. It's why I asked; not to seek forgiveness or anything, but to understand the world through the eyes of others.

It sounds like you have a lot of experience with this sort of thing, so yours is a perspective I appreciate. It sounds like you've gone through a lot to reach the point that you have, at least in regards to accepting what happened to you.

I take it you wouldn't do anything to change the path you've taken, if given a chance, or anything like that?

@rabbit1612 | cw vague illusions to abuse probably

[townmusician]

these are a bunch of loaded questions, aren't they?? asking about if people have done unforgivable things...

there are things that i regret doing, that maybe i shouldn't have done, but i don't see any reason in wondering if i should be forgiven for it or not. it happened and it can't be undone, and who's really to blame for it is irrelevant. redeeming myself for it isn't up to me, it's to the people i've dealt with.

for unforgivable things done to me... i don't really care. i'm used to it by now. everyone has something they want and ideas of what i can do for them, and if i get used or taken advantage of or tossed aside because i'm useless... then whatever. after the first time, it doesn't hurt anymore. i can handle things like that.

i'd rather someone treat me terribly than let someone who can't handle it get hurt. people have different threshold for what they can tolerate, and some people are sensitive.

cw vague illusions to abuse

[destage]

Never said they weren't.

[Sayaka reads it carefully, though, the text box staying around for a bit longer after she gets that in. It reads to her strangely; someone so self sacrificial, someone willing to take the abuse for others.

...]

You sound so used to taking lumps from other people, for the sake of others. I promise I'm not going to sound judge you for it; sometimes it really is all you can do, to make sure nobody else has to take on their burdens. It's a noble thing, but it's also a worrying one, Rabbit.

Do you not hold any ill will toward the people who've chosen to do those things in the first place?

text

[pointzeropercent]

These seem like a lot of heavy questions. What's weighing on your mind?

[destage]

A lot of things, if I'm going to be honest with you. I'm trying not to make them the entire point of this post, but a lot of the things I've done that I should have paid for with my life have been on my mind.

@shizukisoujuurou

[emptyself]

[ he has read quite a bit on these threads after the events at the nekyia, and soujuurou realizes that there's something here that's just not clicking with him. what would he find to be absolutely unforgivable?

... ]

I don't think there's anything that I think is unforgivable. As long as they're doing what they feel is right for their life, that's fine, even if I don't agree with it.

[destage]

[...You know, Sayaka really shouldn't be surprised with this answer, and yet...]

Would you mind too terribly if I asked why? Even if it was something that hurt you, personally, would you feel the same? Or someone you care for...?

@Yoon 9/15

[strawsandals]

[ He is not anonymous on this post. He has nothing to hide. ]

I think most people are deserving of forgiveness, but like others have said, whether or not they're forgiven is up to the other person to decide. Everyone has their own threshold, though. For example, I don't think I could find it in me to forgive people who love seeing innocent people suffer.

Now...I've done things people may consider unforgivable in my past, but to me, I did what I had to in order to survive. Whether or not those people forgive me for that is something I choose not to dwell on, because I was able to turn things around down the line.

Still, when it comes to other things...I guess the person I've had the hardest time forgiving is myself.

[destage]

[It feel strange to go back to this post, but the little ping on Sayaka's phone does get her to look when she's alone--she's a little surprised that Yoon would answer, especially after all he's been through, but...

There's a small part of her that smiles, that he can face this so strongly.]

A lot of people told me that you (in general) can be your own worst critic when it comes to things you've done. I think at this point, it's just a natural fact of life. One that I'm...still adjusting to, I think. That and realizing that things aren't as within my control as I've always been used to.

...You have a good way of thinking of things, Yoon. Turning the negatives in your life into something positive. It's an admirable quality that I'm hoping I can learn someday.

I hope you continue down the path you've chosen. As long as it makes you happy, you know? You must have found something good down that path, if it's made you firm in your resolve like this.