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NETWORK: @peach0341 (anonymous) [post soujuurou's wild ride]
What would you consider the most unforgivable thing that a person could do to you? Something that someone could do, that they could never take back?
If it has been done to you, what happened? How did you treat that person afterward, if you kept in contact with them? If you didn't, do you regret ever severing off from them?
Have you done anything unforgivable? How did people respond to that--did they let you get a word in edge-wise to explain, or did they abandon you? Did you have to find your own way afterwards? How did it go for you, if so?
Do you think there's anything that one can do to earn forgiveness, depending on the severity of what happened? Do they deserve it? Does it depend? And is there a certain point that someone's allowed to give up on trying to find it, and should just stop trying to be good?
I'm curious as to what everyone's answers will be. Please don't give anymore info than you're comfortable with; these are just things that have been on my mind, lately. And please don't be rude to each other.
[this seems. infinitely more like a stream of conscious than anything actually coherent, but there's at least an attempt at maintaining some modicum of privacy. have at. be it on main or giving yourself a nice plurk-style anon-name, go for it.]
If it has been done to you, what happened? How did you treat that person afterward, if you kept in contact with them? If you didn't, do you regret ever severing off from them?
Have you done anything unforgivable? How did people respond to that--did they let you get a word in edge-wise to explain, or did they abandon you? Did you have to find your own way afterwards? How did it go for you, if so?
Do you think there's anything that one can do to earn forgiveness, depending on the severity of what happened? Do they deserve it? Does it depend? And is there a certain point that someone's allowed to give up on trying to find it, and should just stop trying to be good?
I'm curious as to what everyone's answers will be. Please don't give anymore info than you're comfortable with; these are just things that have been on my mind, lately. And please don't be rude to each other.
[this seems. infinitely more like a stream of conscious than anything actually coherent, but there's at least an attempt at maintaining some modicum of privacy. have at. be it on main or giving yourself a nice plurk-style anon-name, go for it.]
no subject
...I won't let you down. No matter what we face, I...I won't run. I promise that I'll do everything I can to help. I'll do everything I can to let you help, too, and...any of the others.
[...]
...Being open like this, it's...difficult, as I know you can imagine. But this has to be a two way street, right? I don't know and understand much, but...I think that's the way it needs to be. So I promise, I'll do all I can.
[She pauses briefly, considering. This is comfortable for her, but...]
...Do you want to sit on the bench? I can't imagine staying like this is very comfortable for you, even if it is for me. I don't know where you would want me to start, but, um...
I'll answer anything I can for you, if you want to know anything. Fair's fair, right?
no subject
Yes, that likely would be more comfortable for us both.
[Fray gently pats her back before pulling back; c'mon, let's sit on the bench. That's definitely a little easier on the knees...]
I do have some questions for you, but please don't push yourself. There will be plenty of time to discuss all of this, so if you feel you cannot answer something now, don't force yourself.
[With that said...]
Will you tell me what happened in that killing game?
[The whole story, this time. He knows there's more to it than what she told him initially.]
no subject
[Even if Fray is a manifestation of negative emotions, his knees still matter!! She'll still be close by when they do sit down, at least, but Sayaka does find herself smiling unintentionally when he brings up her comfort levels. It's appreciated, deeply, though she has no intention of letting it get in the way of giving Fray the answers he needs.
The ones he deserves, frankly.]
I appreciate your consideration, Fray. As for what happened...well, you know the very beginning, but we were left to our own devices, at least for a little bit. Enough time to help us get used to the place, at least a little.
It wasn't long before the bear that held us captive--Monokuma, he decided that we weren't motivated enough to start killing one another, and he wanted us to get on it--the sooner, the better. He...presented us with these discs--think of them sort of like...a recorded show or play, that you could play back later whenever you wanted to.
...I never asked what was on the others discs. I got consumed by what was on my own in almost an instant. It...
It showed the girls who were apart of my idol group, collapsed on our stage and with Monokuma's ugly mug on the monitor. Implying he'd done this, and he said that if we didn't act soon, we'd never find out what happened to them. I got so scared--I was already worried that the outside world may have forgotten...
[There's a brief moment where she can't look at Fray. She considers her words, but...in the end, she goes with honesty.]
I was worried the outside world had forgotten me. And everyone else trapped in there, but...mostly me, and my...friends. But it just...it struck me, that I had to do something. I had to do something, because if I didn't, I was going to lose everything I worked for, and even if I realized it wasn't worth it now...I clutched that dream so hard in my hands it practically made my bones ache. I felt like I had to do something, to get out of there.
...I proceeded to hatch a plan, to kill someone and frame it on one of the only people in that school that I knew.
[Following along so far, Fray?]
no subject
It was necessary, in your eyes. You thought you had no choice.
[Fray nods. He understands. To be backed into a corner like that... he understands that feeling well enough.]
Continue. What happened next?
[Did her plan go as she thought it would, or...?]
no subject
[It's honest. It's so painfully honest and making her feel like the most selfish person in the world, and she hates it. She's not sure if she hates it because she can't paint herself entirely selfish, or if it's because her love for her so-called friends wasn't her first priority.
But Fray hasn't left. Not that she'd ever blame him, but he hasn't, and it propels her forward.]
...I knew one of the boys there. He used to go to the same middle school as me, and we stayed by each other while we tried to adjust to this new life. I don't know if I mentioned this before, but...the biggest thing about this--is that if we wanted to escape, we had to get away with the murder. We couldn't let anyone else know who was the culprit.
[...]
I decided to use him. I made it seem like my life was in danger, and got him to swap rooms with me for the night. All the while, I sent another one of the boys a note to meet up with me in "my" room. He was a jerk who belittled my dream, and I thought he'd get too distracted by the opportunity to talk to me. I had everything all planned to frame Naegi-kun and escape this school.
...I underestimated the other boy. He was an athlete, and he was smarter than I expected. He managed to disarm me from the knife, and I panicked. I ran and locked myself in the bathroom, and the only thing on my mind was how terribly I screwed up. He tried to get in, and when he couldn't get the door unlocked, he managed to dismantle the doorknob and get inside...
I attacked him again. I--I don't even know why, at that point, I think I just wanted to finish what I started but I barely registered anything at all other than that I needed to do this. I still had that stupid knife in my hand, and I tried to attack him again, and...
...I don't even think he stabbed me on purpose. But he managed to lodge that knife into my gut, and...well...
[She points to the area in question; pretty high up on the stomach area, and an area that was almost certainly fatal without medical intervention.
...She seems uncertain, letting that set, though it looks like she has more to say. She's not sure if she should.]
no subject
It seems as though a wound like that would be... fatal.
[He pauses after he says it, looking to her expression to see how she's taking it. McGillis was one thing, but Sayaka... She's a kid. She's far too young to be dealing with something so difficult, and in the situation she was in, well...
It's no wonder that she's struggling with all of this.]
Go on. It seems there's more on your mind.
no subject
[Sayaka isn't usually one for nervous ticks, though she just seems to be a rather nervous person in general without any sort of mask on. But if Fray looks for it, he'll notice something in particular about her right wrist--one she has a habit of rubbing at, even now.
There's a rather large bruise on it, and she goes silent for a bit as she considers everything. She doesn't want to tell him this. It isn't relevant. She shouldn't cloud any sort of judgement.
...]
...I remember my vision fading, but I still had a little bit of energy in me. I've never been a particularly smart kid, but...I wanted to do something, for Naegi-kun. I...
I used my own blood to trace out Kuwata-kun's first name, on the wall behind me. He was panicking and distracted, and I was barely thinking straight when I was writing it. It probably looked more like a series of numbers, than anything actually readable. But I was bleeding out, and I didn't want him to win.
...I didn't want Naegi-kun to get hurt, for my own actions. I think.
no subject
I can only imagine what it was like. I'm sorry that you had to go through something like that, Maizono; I'm sorry that you were put in such a position to begin with.
[It's soft, not quite gentle but approaching it.]
To think that you were holding onto all this all this time... I'm sorry I couldn't have been of more help any sooner. Thank you for trusting me with your story - I won't tell anyone anything you've told me here tonight.
no subject
It's nothing you need to apologize for, Fray.
[There's a bit of a realization, at this point. That she's dropped the respectful '-san' she always used to keep a distance from others with him. That she's used because of an insistence on politeness, and from the start, she hasn't even used it properly on his last name.
It's a thought that she discards easier than she would've thought. Fray is Fray. Fray is Fray, and it feels right. That's what matters.]
I...if I had my way of it, nobody would have ever known. I kept trying, trying, trying to be someone perfect and helpful and kind, and yet it feels like every time we're put into a situation of true stress, I feel like I keep cracking further. Everyone can see it. Everyone can see the delicate little girl I've been trying to hide this entire time, and I don't like being perceived so clearly by people. It's uncomfortable, it reminds me of how my fans have always acted, always so overly familiar, using my first name like they know me. When I've been put on a pedestal so high, I can't even see the people I want to make smile. The people I wanted to inspire...
I keep wondering how much more I can take, and it all just...this place just reminds me of a normal life I've never gotten the chance to have, and I...I hate it.
...But I still can't bring myself to hate the Goddess for it. I can't hate any of you, for seeing me as I am. It's the closest I've ever felt to something normal.
[Sayaka finally looks at Fray at that, her expression uncertain.]
...With all of that being said, I...could I ask you for a favor?
no subject
It's an identity crisis he understands better than most would, he thinks. After all, he doesn't have to be "Fray Myste" any longer, now does he? What would it be like to walk that path with her, to figure out who he truly is when given a life all his own?
A terrifying and tantalizing thought in equal measure, but not the point right now.]
Of course, Maizono. You can ask me for anything, you know.
[He may not be able to grant it, but he would be a fool not to offer it.]
no subject
I don't...want to run anymore. From being seen by others, from...being. Even if I don't know the first thing about that. We're...kind of similar like that, I think? Maybe, at least.
[Sayaka shakes her head. And her expression goes...surprisingly determined.]
Could I...ask you to call me Sayaka, from now on?
no subject
Very well. Sayaka it is. I'm happy to call you as such.
[She had to explain it to him initially, why she preferred to use her last name, but it was something he understood and accepted. It isn't lost on him that using her first name is a big step for her, and Fray finds himself proud of her. She can likely hear it in his voice, as he's done nothing to try to hide it.]
You're right. We do have quite a bit in common, in that regard. Neither of us has truly had the chance to simply be ourselves, for one reason or another.
[Vastly different reasons, from vastly different worlds, but still the sentiment remains.]
Though I may not be the first one to bear the name "Fray Myste", it is a name I have decided to make mine, for the time being. I intend to enjoy my time here and learn to truly... be. I trust you'll walk this path with me, then, Sayaka?
no subject
She finds herself smiling--the expression is awkward, strange, but deeply appreciative and warm and she feels herself rub at her eyes a bit as she chuckles.]
...Mind reading was my old shtick, you know! Did you really think I was going to let you walk through this all by yourself?
No chance.
[Sayaka moves to hug Fray again, but it's with care and gentleness--there's no greed in the gesture and she'll back off if it's unwanted, but it's...
Freeing. It's freeing.]
...No matter where you end up at the end of your own path, Fray, I'm not going anywhere. You've stuck with me through my worst, through all of thus fumbling--the least I can do is...
...No, that's not right. I want to support you, like you've supported me. I want to know who "Fray Myste" will end up at the end of this path, and I'll gladly follow you down it until the end.
Promise. And...thank you. For everything...
[...That comes with a little bit of an unintended yawn, and Fray might feel her briefly unwrap an arm to rub at her eyes a bit--she really did tucker herself out today...]
no subject
I'm glad, then. That we can support one another on this path we walk. Let's see where it takes us, shall we?
[But for now... there's really only one place that path should lead, isn't there?]
Let's return back to the dorms. Best hold on tight.
[And with that - said with the sort of teasing that implies he's about to do something dumb - Fray moves to lift Sayaka in a bridal carry. Ready to head back to the dorms on your dark knight chariot??]
no subject
Absolutely. Lead the way, Fray...
[...
It absolutely doesn't take long for Sayaka to fall asleep in the safety of being carried by him, and it's a very deep sleep. Enough to ignore any disaster going on elsewhere!
She can deal with the guilt of that in the morning--]