linkingup | NETWORK: @peach0341 (anonymous) [post soujuurou's wild ride]

What would you consider the most unforgivable thing that a person could do to you? Something that someone could do, that they could never take back?

If it has been done to you, what happened? How did you treat that person afterward, if you kept in contact with them? If you didn't, do you regret ever severing off from them?

Have you done anything unforgivable? How did people respond to that--did they let you get a word in edge-wise to explain, or did they abandon you? Did you have to find your own way afterwards? How did it go for you, if so?

Do you think there's anything that one can do to earn forgiveness, depending on the severity of what happened? Do they deserve it? Does it depend? And is there a certain point that someone's allowed to give up on trying to find it, and should just stop trying to be good?

I'm curious as to what everyone's answers will be. Please don't give anymore info than you're comfortable with; these are just things that have been on my mind, lately. And please don't be rude to each other.

[this seems. infinitely more like a stream of conscious than anything actually coherent, but there's at least an attempt at maintaining some modicum of privacy. have at. be it on main or giving yourself a nice plurk-style anon-name, go for it.]

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I think we're our own hardest critics. Have you talked to anyone about what exactly happened? An outside perspective can help a lot.

Just look at everyone else here. They're pouring their hearts out, saying what they have done that makes them feel horrible. But would you call any of them horrible people?

One person. To be honest with you, I was surprised he even believed me. The situation I described, it was so utterly unbelievable, and yet...he believed me. It was freeing, but I'm terrified of anyone else knowing. I don't know if they'd believe me.

And I don't think so.

[...]

It's just...I don't know. I betrayed some people very close to me, at one point, and the more I think about it I just...I feel so ill prepared to try and trust people. To play the Goddess' game, so to speak.

But no. I wouldn't consider any of these people truly horrible, I don't think. Everyone's got bad to them, but everyone's got good inside too.

...Maybe it's just the kind of industry I grew up in.

I think the situation matters a lot. It's a lot more forgiving if someone does something terrible in a moment of crisis, for example.

[He is absolutely saying this because he carries some guilt too and doesn't like feeling bad about it.]

Was it just because of your industry? Or were there other factors too?

I don't know--even if that is the case, I don't like the idea of bringing up the situation itself. It's...

It feels like putting the blame on the situation, rather than the actions, and it doesn't sit right with me. Even if there's a choice, shouldn't one be judged for how they react...?

[The second part comes after a bit of typing.]

Both; the industry and the managers I worked for were deeply competitive, and if you took your eyes off of your goal or what they wanted for a second, they'd forget you entirely. I didn't exactly have much already, between a parent that only barely remembered I existed and this, but...

There was something else, too. A...place I got taken to, where people were encouraged to hurt one another to escape.

[He starts typing a response to the first part, but then he stops as soon as the rest come in.

No way. No fucking way.]

[He's just going to quietly break down in his room for a bit, kthanks.]

[But wait.

When he eventually calms down and comes back to this, he realizes the truth.

Nobody else from his world is here, and nobody from his game was an idol. This is definitely somebody new.

Somebody who went through the same shit he did.]

[He deletes what he had written previously and types out something else.]

I think we might have come from similar situations. We need to meet up immediately.

[...

If this is another Monokuma survivor, Sayaka swears to god--needless to say, though, she's already getting up from the bench by the docks she loves so much to write by, and she'll start making a beeline elsewhere.]

Where to? Are you thinking somewhere private, or a somewhat public area for safety concerns?

[His own, primarily. Sayaka can protect herself if needed.]

Private. I don't want anyone overhearing this.

I'm at the dorms, so we can meet up anywhere between there and wherever you are.

Alright. I'm at the docks right now, so...

[Sayaka unanons.]

When we see each other, flag me down if I don't get to you first.

[And with that, Sayaka's on the move; she's not sure who to keep her eyes peeled for, but she will be keeping an eye out now that she's revealed herself for anyone she recognizes.]

[He heads right out immediately to their meetup spot, wasting no time at all. He hadn't recognized anyone here, so he had thought nobody else would have gone through what he had. But apparently at least one other has in some capacity? His mind is racing, and he barely has time to check and see that Sayaka had unanoned until he reaches their meetup spot.

Oh. Once he sees who this is, something deep in his soul pangs with sadness for her. She's been nothing but nice, she doesn't deserve to go through anything like a death game.

But once she arrives, he'll walk on over to where she is and nod to her. His somber look is probably all that's needed to show that he's the one waiting for her.]

...let's go sit down.

...Yes, let's.

[Oh, this is...this is putting a lot of things into perspective now, isn't it? The way he reacted when they first got introduced into Nekiya comes to mind in particular, and somehow, Sayaka feels guilty.

Either way, when they find a place to sit down, Sayaka's eyes have softened quite a bit. She's still a bit of a mess, all things considered, worrying at her sleeves a bit, but she at least tries to smile.]

...I'm sorry that this seems to be such a common experience. Yours didn't happen to be run by someone named Monokuma too, right...?

[Just. Getting that out of the way now.]

Nobody with that name, but plenty of people with similarly punny names.

[God. Where does he even start?]

...they put us through games of life or death for their amusement, and then made us vote for people to die. Most of us are gone now, it's down to just eight, and they said they're making us continue until only one or two people remain alive. Just...who does that kind of thing?

[Sayaka listens to him, her eyes softening and brows knitting as she does. She can't even begin to imagine what Sou's been through (hah), but she tries. She tries to imagine how badly this poor guy has just plain suffered, and it's...]

...When Monokuma gathered my group and answered some of our questions, he said that he wanted to watch us give into despair.

[Sayaka pauses a bit, and the gesture...it's awkward, but if allowed, Sayaka will try to place a supportive hand on Sou's shoulder.]

There weren't any games like with yours--I'm horrified on your behalf that people would torment you like that. It's awful what lengths these sorts are willing to go to in order to hurt us. [...] Monokuma was only nicer in the sense that he allowed us a few days, before actively starting to encourage us to murder others. By...taking hostages--at least I think.

[A few days...if only they had that luxury. In Sou's world, eight people had died on the first day.]

You 'think'? What happened?

[...]

After those first few days, Monokuma gave us a box of DVD that he left in the AV room for us to find. We found them each labeled with our names and took them over to watch them.

[Very notably, if Sou is looking, he'll notice Sayaka start to fidget nervously. Worrying at her sleeves, and the like. It's a difficult subject but she attempts to press on.]

I...didn't ask the others what they had on them. I assumed it was something similar to mine. Monokuma made that video about the girls in my idol group, telling me about them the fact that...

That we were separated. That our group broke up, because I wasn't there anymore. That I had...no place to return to, and that the only way to find out what happened to them was...to graduate this school. By killing someone.

The video showed them knocked out on the stage, and it didn't...look like they were dead, but...it...

[And it's here that Sayaka clams up. Give her a second, Sou, this is. Difficult. But it's pretty clear that the 'think' is coming from the fact that she doesn't know if they're alive or not.]

NETWORK: @peach0341 (anonymous) [post soujuurou's wild ride]

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text (@shslidol) -> action!

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