destage: (SOLEMN ♡ no really I deserve the void)
Sayaka Maizono ([personal profile] destage) wrote in [community profile] linkingup2024-09-12 01:30 am

NETWORK: @peach0341 (anonymous) [post soujuurou's wild ride]

What would you consider the most unforgivable thing that a person could do to you? Something that someone could do, that they could never take back?

If it has been done to you, what happened? How did you treat that person afterward, if you kept in contact with them? If you didn't, do you regret ever severing off from them?

Have you done anything unforgivable? How did people respond to that--did they let you get a word in edge-wise to explain, or did they abandon you? Did you have to find your own way afterwards? How did it go for you, if so?

Do you think there's anything that one can do to earn forgiveness, depending on the severity of what happened? Do they deserve it? Does it depend? And is there a certain point that someone's allowed to give up on trying to find it, and should just stop trying to be good?

I'm curious as to what everyone's answers will be. Please don't give anymore info than you're comfortable with; these are just things that have been on my mind, lately. And please don't be rude to each other.


[this seems. infinitely more like a stream of conscious than anything actually coherent, but there's at least an attempt at maintaining some modicum of privacy. have at. be it on main or giving yourself a nice plurk-style anon-name, go for it.]
supherb: (arven28)

@cheese5834 | cw parental neglect

[personal profile] supherb 2024-09-12 05:41 pm (UTC)(link)
[Anon or not, there are like three other people here who might recognize the content of this post since he's not going to be 100% vague.]

I don't know if I've got any good answers for you on deserving forgiveness because I'm still trying to figure out my own feelings on that. But I guess I can talk about my own experiences. Maybe it'll be cathartic. IDK.

I only had one parent growing up and he was barely around because he was too into his work to raise me. I had to learn how to do everything on my own. Cooking, cleaning, school, you name it. There was one point that he actually lived with me but I was stupid to think it would last. I resented him and the subject of his work a lot. I still do, I think. Maybe not the work subject as much anymore, but I still can't understand why he abandoned me even when he said he loved me. How could he love me when he would rather kill anyone in his way INCLUDING ME than let his stupid dream be ruined?

I'll never get the chance to figure it out with him because he's gone now.
supherb: (arven14)

[personal profile] supherb 2024-09-12 06:22 pm (UTC)(link)
["Oh", indeed.]

Nah it's okay. I'm thinking the same thing after reading all of this. I'm sorry your dad(?) wasn't there for you either. I guess the only consolation is that he TRIED.

There's a lot I would've said to him tbh. I might sound dumb for it but I probably would've forgiven him if he apologized and came back home for good or at least tried to be a real dad. That's all I ever wanted.

But no I just had to learn how proud of me he was from what he left behind when he never said it to me himself. What am I supposed to DO with that?
Edited 2024-09-12 18:23 (UTC)
supherb: (arven48)

[personal profile] supherb 2024-09-12 07:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh... Sorry for making assumptions.

[The rest feels weird and difficult to read through, but also kind of nice. He's talked about this with his friends back home, but they never had much to say about it beyond the expected condolences. He appreciated those, of course, but this feels so much more personal. It's coming from someone who's been in a similar place.]

Man. It feels like I'm being read like a book. I'm starting to get some of that now at least...so it's not all bad. Like, I've got friends that care about me now. And one of them has a really nice mom. I'm always a little jealous whenever I go to her house.

Sounds like we really have a lot in common though. I kinda wish this wasn't anon.
supherb: (arven19)

[personal profile] supherb 2024-09-20 04:25 am (UTC)(link)
That does make me feel better. Thanks. :)

[A smile emoji feels wrong given the topic of discussion, but he wasn't sure how else to get across how appreciative he is.]

It's not really a danger thing. It just feels kinda weird to say all this personal stuff and then let everyone know it was me. IDK I don't want people to look at me differently or worry about me. But some of you really get it. (And it sucks that you do obviously but you know what I mean.)

But you sound like you're willing to take the leap. So maybe it won't be so bad.

Obligation. Man. I hadn't thought of it like that but now that you've said it it fits so well. That's exactly what it felt like, huh?
beathollow: (L2D. 009)

@apple6281

[personal profile] beathollow 2024-09-12 08:02 pm (UTC)(link)
I told myself once if my mother could apologize to me for everything, if she could prove she meant it and stop treating me the way she did, I could forgive it all.

You aren't dumb for that. It just means you love him still, for all that it hurts. It's up to you what you do with the love that remains, now.
supherb: (arven47)

[personal profile] supherb 2024-09-12 08:15 pm (UTC)(link)
[...]

Thanks, apple. For what it's worth I'm sorry your mom mistreated you.

(Why are there so many of us in the same spot? Is Braphine trying to say something??)

I guess I'm still in that figuring out stage when it comes to him. I just wish I could ask him why he put his goals above his own son.
beathollow: (L3D. 028)

[personal profile] beathollow 2024-09-12 08:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you.

All I can say is... Take your time and think things through. Thats all you can do.

It's okay if your opinions change, and change again. People are like seasons, after all. And it's okay if you can't figure it out right now. It's a hard subject.

Just be kind to yourself. Don't believe you have to do anything that would hurt you more.





Also Braphine is absolutely saying something. But I can't say that I hate it, exactly.
supherb: (arven8)

[personal profile] supherb 2024-09-12 08:31 pm (UTC)(link)
You know, it's a huge relief to read all this. Back home I started trying to make plans for the future just so I could have something else to focus on. It's good to know that I'm not just avoiding all the unsorted feelings by doing that.

Yeah...it's weirdly nice? It sucks to know that this is so common, but it's also nice to know you're not alone. This isn't something I can really talk with my friends back home about. They've got parents who are there for them, even if they can be a little overbearing with their love. Can't help but wish I knew what that's like, though.
beathollow: (L2D. 019)

cw allusions to theoretical physical abuse just in case

[personal profile] beathollow 2024-09-12 08:56 pm (UTC)(link)
I think I understand that. As awful as it is that someone else knows this pain, not being alone in the world is comforting.

My close friends all understand in their own ways. But at school, I don't think anyone would believe me. I always thought I didn't have anything to complain about, since it's not like... she left a mark. I'm realizing otherwise now, though.

But I also understand that longing. When I see mothers who act the way I wish she'd acted, it hurts.
supherb: (arven43)

cw continued

[personal profile] supherb 2024-09-20 04:06 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah... Just because it wasn't physical doesn't mean it didn't hurt. You've got every right to be upset about it and I'm glad you had the realization.

Right?? I try not to complain about it when I'm around them because I know that's not fair to them but it's hard sometimes. Maybe it'll get easier when I get older. IDK.
beathollow: (CA. 038)

[personal profile] beathollow 2024-09-20 08:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Maybe. Maybe not. Regardless, all you can do is try. Your health and happiness is the most important.
moodwrecker: (08)

@banana9881

[personal profile] moodwrecker 2024-09-12 08:36 pm (UTC)(link)
what the heck?

that's so messed up.
supherb: (arven43)

[personal profile] supherb 2024-09-12 08:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Tell me about it. Still kind of reeling over it tbh.
moodwrecker: (28)

[personal profile] moodwrecker 2024-09-12 08:45 pm (UTC)(link)
sorry you can't get closure.

is there any chance you can do something like... i don't know

yell all the crap you want to say to him or something?

or figure out what you wish you could say
supherb: (arven18)

[personal profile] supherb 2024-09-20 04:15 am (UTC)(link)
I hadn't thought about yelling at him...

I already know what I'd want to say, though. Mostly a lot of questions which isn't really gonna work. But I guess there's some not-questions in there too.

Wonder if he'd even hear me, wherever he is.
moodwrecker: (02)

[personal profile] moodwrecker 2024-09-20 04:51 am (UTC)(link)
who cares?

if you've got the words, you might as well get them out somewhere.