NETWORK: @peach0341 (anonymous) [post soujuurou's wild ride]

[destage]

What would you consider the most unforgivable thing that a person could do to you? Something that someone could do, that they could never take back?

If it has been done to you, what happened? How did you treat that person afterward, if you kept in contact with them? If you didn't, do you regret ever severing off from them?

Have you done anything unforgivable? How did people respond to that--did they let you get a word in edge-wise to explain, or did they abandon you? Did you have to find your own way afterwards? How did it go for you, if so?

Do you think there's anything that one can do to earn forgiveness, depending on the severity of what happened? Do they deserve it? Does it depend? And is there a certain point that someone's allowed to give up on trying to find it, and should just stop trying to be good?

I'm curious as to what everyone's answers will be. Please don't give anymore info than you're comfortable with; these are just things that have been on my mind, lately. And please don't be rude to each other.

[this seems. infinitely more like a stream of conscious than anything actually coherent, but there's at least an attempt at maintaining some modicum of privacy. have at. be it on main or giving yourself a nice plurk-style anon-name, go for it.]

Comments

@rabbit1612 | cw vague illusions to abuse probably

[townmusician]

these are a bunch of loaded questions, aren't they?? asking about if people have done unforgivable things...

there are things that i regret doing, that maybe i shouldn't have done, but i don't see any reason in wondering if i should be forgiven for it or not. it happened and it can't be undone, and who's really to blame for it is irrelevant. redeeming myself for it isn't up to me, it's to the people i've dealt with.

for unforgivable things done to me... i don't really care. i'm used to it by now. everyone has something they want and ideas of what i can do for them, and if i get used or taken advantage of or tossed aside because i'm useless... then whatever. after the first time, it doesn't hurt anymore. i can handle things like that.

i'd rather someone treat me terribly than let someone who can't handle it get hurt. people have different threshold for what they can tolerate, and some people are sensitive.

cw vague illusions to abuse

[destage]

Never said they weren't.

[Sayaka reads it carefully, though, the text box staying around for a bit longer after she gets that in. It reads to her strangely; someone so self sacrificial, someone willing to take the abuse for others.

...]

You sound so used to taking lumps from other people, for the sake of others. I promise I'm not going to sound judge you for it; sometimes it really is all you can do, to make sure nobody else has to take on their burdens. It's a noble thing, but it's also a worrying one, Rabbit.

Do you not hold any ill will toward the people who've chosen to do those things in the first place?

[townmusician]

of course i did. i was even mad at the people who were just like me, and i wanted to get back at all them. i wanted to prove them wrong and laugh in their faces.

but nothing i did made me feel better, and i just ended up getting used by someone else who thought i would be a handy tool for them. it just made everything even worse.

[Even now, his feelings around Tenn Kujou are... complicated. Even if he knows, now, that Tenn had no idea of his existence, of all the other failures Kujou tried to mold into the perfect idols that would never stand up to the flawless, angelic Tenn Kujou, it doesn't make it any easier to think about.

His feelings towards Kujou led to him damaging Tenn's career so severely he almost ruined it entirely, and it didn't mean anything.]

so fuck it. if people are going to want to use me, they're going to want that no matter what i do, and trying to get back at them isn't going to change the fact that it's happened before and will happen again. that's how life is, but i don't think it's noble. isn't it better if someone used to the pain is the one who has to deal with it instead of people who couldn't, noble intentions or not?

[destage]

[There's a part of Sayaka that wants to ask him how he's gotten used to such pain. How can he continue to live like this? How can he continue to insist that there's something good about being forced to take the punishment that he has?

(How many times has she justified it to herself? That this path was the only one she had, so she had to grin and bear everything? How long? How long has she sat there with the same noble intentions, and withered herself down to nothing due to them?)]

Being used like that...I know that feeling, unfortunately. In the place where I come from, it's a pretty common thing. The world out there is dog eat dog, and people are going to use and manipulate you as they feel they need...and it's up to you to determine if it's worth it or not.

But what's going to happen when it finally reaches your breaking point? What's going to happen when your bones and mind break underneath all of that?

Noble or not, is it really worth it to let yourself keep being broken over and over again for the sake of others?