linkingup | NETWORK: @peach0341 (anonymous) [post soujuurou's wild ride]

What would you consider the most unforgivable thing that a person could do to you? Something that someone could do, that they could never take back?

If it has been done to you, what happened? How did you treat that person afterward, if you kept in contact with them? If you didn't, do you regret ever severing off from them?

Have you done anything unforgivable? How did people respond to that--did they let you get a word in edge-wise to explain, or did they abandon you? Did you have to find your own way afterwards? How did it go for you, if so?

Do you think there's anything that one can do to earn forgiveness, depending on the severity of what happened? Do they deserve it? Does it depend? And is there a certain point that someone's allowed to give up on trying to find it, and should just stop trying to be good?

I'm curious as to what everyone's answers will be. Please don't give anymore info than you're comfortable with; these are just things that have been on my mind, lately. And please don't be rude to each other.

[this seems. infinitely more like a stream of conscious than anything actually coherent, but there's at least an attempt at maintaining some modicum of privacy. have at. be it on main or giving yourself a nice plurk-style anon-name, go for it.]

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i don't know. before i came here i'd probably say something like "killed my friends" but after seeing some of the crap people here went through, there's probably even worse things i can't even imagine.

i think

all you can really do is apologize and try to be better. but no one has to accept your apology and like i said everyone here has gone through way more than me.

[#NormieProblems.]

[...Sayaka is going to be perfectly respectful of everyone's trauma here and not call Banana's chump change or anything, that's rude--]

We all have different...what's the word, barometers? For things like that. What's the worst for you is different for someone else. I'm not going to inquire about what happened if you don't want to go into it.

I think I get what you mean, though. It really is always left to the judgement of others, though based on some of the answers I've seen, I think some people might be a little too forgiving for their own good.

But you are right, Banana. I can agree with that. I can't say I know what better looks like, but I think that is a good way of looking at it.

maybe everyone here is more forgiving because we're all from messed up situations.

It definitely sounds like it, based off of what I've been hearing from everyone. It's all weird, strange, and unusual, but...

I do feel like I understand people a little better. Even if it's left me with more questions than answers.

what are the new questions?

How to be an actual human being, for starters. How to actually process any sort of emotion that isn't trained by some kind of manager.

...Some nastier ones, too. I don't want to speak of them.

I've already decided that I don't want forgiveness. That I don't want to have that forced on me, because it feels disgusting and wrong--but I don't know the path forward, either. I know I have to be the one to decide it, but...

It's all murky and stupid. Sorry.

wait, what do you mean, 'be an actual human being?'

[nani]

[...]

I've spent a very long time just trying to be what people want, because it's the only way to make people happy.

My dad didn't want a daughter that constantly bothered him while his job needed him to work every hour of the day they could legally make him, so I became quiet and self sufficient. The job I worked for, they wanted someone who could smile, inspire others, bear the weight of the whole world and look cute doing it while shoveling task after task on top of me, so I became a perfect example to lead by. Well over one hundred million people became fans of me.

I've just. Never really had a chance to be. Myself I guess. Does that make sense?

oh.

that sucks.

it was kind of similar with my family. my dad left when i was little and I can't remember the last time my mom looked up from the tv.

i went in the opposite direction, though. no one could tell me what to do.

[For better or for worse.]

anyway, seeing as you're here now you might as well give it a try?

being a human or whatever.

[It's strange, reading how universal of an experience shitty parents seem to be here. Though...Sayaka supposes she really can't be that surprised, can she? Her fans sometimes mentioned it. She could sometimes see it, too, in the way kids were at school...

anyway, seeing as you're here now you might as well give it a try?

being a human or whatever.

Those last words stick with Sayaka in a way she doesn't expect. But it's...]

...For what it's worth, I'm sorry you went through a similar situation. We may have gone in opposite directions, but neglectful parents...I wouldn't wish them upon anyone.

I think I want to try it. Being human. I'm afraid of failure and rejection, but...

Maybe it won't be so bad. It really does seem like the only way forward.

i don't think there's any way to avoid rejection or failure

but you can learn to stop caring about it so much

...I don't know how good at it I'll be, and the idea of not thinking about it...it's freeing, but makes me feel so anxious. After chasing it for so long.

But...I think that you're right. That may be the only way actually forward, at this point. Maybe it'll be nice to not feel like I have my manager's voices in my head telling me everything I do is wrong.

...Thank you, sincerely Banana. I really appreciate you listening.

okay, no, that just sounds really stupid.

this is aubrey.

[Fuck anonymity just don't ever call her banana again.]

good luck with everything

NETWORK: @peach0341 (anonymous) [post soujuurou's wild ride]

@banana9881

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cw parental neglect

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