Kirumi Tojo's Palace | The Ultimate Maid's Failures

[kandata]

By now everyone may be used to find themselves in bizarre locations, between going into palaces and visiting Nekyia. It might not come as a surprise that it has happened again.

What might come as a surprise, though...is how empty this place is.

All around you there's nothing more than a large, gray, featureless expanse. In the distance there seem to be bars, curving upwards to gather so, so high above you, possibly hundreds of miles above, so high it’s hard to distinguish.

It’s a cage. So unfathomably large. You could escape, were you to get to the edges of the cage, but...it would take forever. No matter how you look at it, you're trapped. The atmosphere is so...hopeless. Devoid of anything even remotely positive.

Not that you want to hang around for long, do you? After all, this is someone's palace. Not a place to stick around at. What to do, though?

It’s all so...empty. Silent. Featureless. A flat expanse of hard gray tiles.

Gather together, everyone. Gather and choose a direction. North, East, West, South. All directions look completely identical, but could it affect your time in this place, somehow? Probably not. But all treks start with the first step. Perhaps, if you get moving, you'll progress?

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[prozaic]

[Shalem does know that they were working on unlocking the kitchen... so that's where he heads after wringing the last clue from the music room. And, as he waits, he fiddles with the lock. No dice, of course, but that's fine, because he hears footsteps, and gives a low, theatrical bow before straightening up.]

I see you've procured the axe. Who would like the honour of going first?

[strawsandals]

[ CAN WE GET GOOD ROLLS. JUST THIS ONCE. ]

[destage]

...Well...let me see if I can. I've never used one of these before, and it's a little--heavy, but--!

[Sayaka will gladly (if struggling somewhat with the axe's weight) lift the axe and swing (10) it at the lock, aiming to give it a good bit of force!

...She's a little confused but she's got the spirit...]

[kandata]

[Tok!

The axe hits the wood, giving it a good split...to like halfway point. Yet somehow, the lock stays functional.

Why does the palace need to have a ridiculous gigantic wooden lock on the kitchen? Who came up with this nonsense?]

[idealitas]

[ Braincell takes the axe because why not.

Deep breath. Channel your unhinged violent sides that exist out there ...

(18)! ]

[kandata]

[Those unhinged violent sides are why you were rated high for Danganronpa, buddy.

The axe cleaves the lock with surprising ease! Yikes Sang made mincemeat from it! The kitchen is now open, and--

Careful! From the depths of the kitchen, a bowl of soup comes flying, mercifully missing everyone. It seems the fake one inside heard you all arrive. The rain of hot soup splatters on the floor, scalding hot.

Beware once you go in! The kitchen is a warzone sometimes!]

[vogelfrei]

[ So.

Nick.

Once again we arrive at this point.

Once again I ask you: can I put the mecha in the kitchen? ]

[kandata]

[That entrance sure is big enough for the Exisal to enter
Just beware once you're inside -- no kitchen is a wide expanse like the gym or the hallways are!

There'd be boons, but also downsides if you choose to pilot in there!]

[vogelfrei]

[ Okay, before McGillis brings the Exisal into the kitchen to crush the enemy waiting within, he's going to look into the room to see if he'd be wrecking something actually useful to them by doing so.

Unfortunately, the monitors of the Exisal are bad at being eyes. (9) ]

[idealitas]

[ Does this second ridiculous (18) help Yi Sang find something worth destroying for McGillis? ]

[kandata]

[Your better perception shows the ovens nearest to the entrance, to the right of the kitchen, have something cooking!

That's all the heads-up you all can get before going inside, yup]

[kandata]

[Well, a 9 is close enough, so let's see...I can work with that in a way.

Look! Thermal vision! There's so much in this kitchen that's from lukewarm to piping hot, courtesy of Arven. However! At the very back, something is colder than the rest.

McGillis won't know what it is, but he'll know the general location.

As for layout, the kitchen is lined with counters and appliances, and a long island in middle of the space. Tough for moving! But doesn't look like a sturdy enough island to stop you, it probably will break. That's a risk for the Exisal, though. Feel like taking a calculated risk?]

[vogelfrei]

[ Yeah, we're taking the risk. McGillis is going to enter the kitchen with the Exisal. Since he's a good pilot and a careful person, he won't simply run into the island but instead try to use one of the Exisals arms to move it out of the way.

And more importantly, does he spot Arven? ]

[kandata]

[Hell yeah, he will be able to see him.

Watch out, everyone, Arven is at the end of the kitchen. Looks like his strategy is to try to keep you all from getting to him. He's close to whatever is to be obtained from here, as if guarding it.

McGillis pushes some of the island aside. Somehow, it shatters as if it had been made of toothpicks. No damage against the Exisal. One third of the island is broken.

The sight of the Exisal seems to freak out Arven, inflicting fear on him.

Arven grabs several eggs and, propelling them with a garu spell, they're thrown across the kitchen, aiming for the Exisal's sensors. The edges of McGillis' vision are obscured, he having failed on this intent by a little bit.

What's your move, everyone?]

[strawsandals]

[ Oh goodness gracious.

Well. He doesn't like that at all, so he'll lower Arven's agility. Yikes. ]

[kandata]

[Effective! And sure makes Arven focus on Yoon]

Don't ruin...my kitchen!

....

...also die!

[This fake at least did a token effort to act like Arven. Badly, but it tried. Eyeing something he assembled to his left, tied to the ovens near the entrance, he tries to get there, throwing a garudyne at Yoon. Well! It's a hit, despite the reduced speed!]

[strawsandals]

[ He'd been too scared to attack, even if this Arven is fake...

But the death threat is all he needs to confirm that this Arven isn't real. Arven would never.

Yoon attacks with Dragon's Claw (18). Go away, imposter!!! ]

[moodwrecker]

[...Oh, this is going to suck.

Aubrey will go ahead and buff the Exisal's defenses with a Rakukaja.]

[kandata]

[The ovens aren't the only thing Arven has, apparently. Arven calls for Mabosstiff against Aubrey.

Luckily, Monokuma thought it'd be a waste of time to make a false Mabosstiff. Instead, there's a stock bark noise from direction of the fridge, it opening and unleashing a deluge of icy water onto Aubrey, intending to harm via cold burns.

That works better for Arven than it should have, it was a 13]

[moodwrecker]

[Ow- at least she's not weak to ice.]

This is so weird.

[But she'll try to take a swing at the fridge, only to do no damage because she only rolled a 2!]

[vogelfrei]

[ McGillis doesn't need the edges of his vision to advance straight on 'Arven', so this does not hinder him-- He thinks, anyway.

McGillis advances, trying to get more of the kitchen island out of the way and get Arven within reach, but he winds up misstepping on the remnants of the already-shattered island and giving Arven an opening to get out of dodge. (6) ]

[kandata]

[It indeed gives him a chance.

Does it say good things about Arven that despite the fear, it still manages to dare to approach the mecha instead of trying to flee? He goes there with a can opener, jamming it onto the lid keeping the cockpit closed, and with the outrageous strength of being an abomination currently shaped like Arven, he starts trying to force the cockpit open to get McGillis out of there.

It's...it's not successful, but it's a little too close for comfort.

Watch out, attacks onto Arven will have an increased chance of hitting the Exisal too for a short while!]

[prozaic]

Wind? Clearly no interest in the details...

[Sorry, he's not going to do anything because he's more interested in watching the chaos.]

[kandata]

[All those fakes and Monokuma failed to get the right element like four out of five times.

Arven, fueled by fear, looks in direction of Shalem and ponders if moving by Shalem would be a good escape route!]

[strawsandals]

[ ULTRA MCGILLIS BEAM? ]