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mid-week 11; un: monday
[ With the regression of the city, working at Sunset Theater has quickly become less enjoyable than it used to be. Though the cast remembers the rapport McGillis had built with them, even if they're more standoffish now. And it's not as though McGillis had placed much stock in his interpersonal relationships to the random citizens, but... the shift in atmosphere serves as a tangible reminder. That this is temporary. That this world is susceptible to insane levels of mind manipulation. That he wants to leave.
Leave and... do what? That's the question that has haunted McGillis for weeks now, and the countdown is mercilessly continuing. Soon Braphine will release them from her hold, one way or another. Soon, he'll have to know. And so will everyone else. ]
Just a little over two weeks until we're free from this, if Braphine really keeps her word and the God of Conflict doesn't swallow up all her power. Until then we'll doubtlessly face a number of additional challenges and hassles, but while we're still in the quiet before the storm...
Are you going home to your own worlds after this? Or will you take Braphine up on her offer and come along with one of your 'bonds'? What is your world like? What is making you return? What is making you abandon it?
And if you're like me and cannot return to where you came from no matter what, maybe the answers can give you some perspective.
Leave and... do what? That's the question that has haunted McGillis for weeks now, and the countdown is mercilessly continuing. Soon Braphine will release them from her hold, one way or another. Soon, he'll have to know. And so will everyone else. ]
Just a little over two weeks until we're free from this, if Braphine really keeps her word and the God of Conflict doesn't swallow up all her power. Until then we'll doubtlessly face a number of additional challenges and hassles, but while we're still in the quiet before the storm...
Are you going home to your own worlds after this? Or will you take Braphine up on her offer and come along with one of your 'bonds'? What is your world like? What is making you return? What is making you abandon it?
And if you're like me and cannot return to where you came from no matter what, maybe the answers can give you some perspective.
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[He'd be going for the intercept, too, don't worry.]
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thanks celeste
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💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
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<3
[ See, that's a heart, too! ]
tho on the topic of
this
i mean
we should probably talk too
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But there's no time to consider that with the other... topic at hand.]
Ah.
You are right, of course...
[He's sure been Having Thoughts, but... it's probably getting to the point where he ought to share them, huh.]
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[ Speaking of the roof, on a less serious note, ]
i finally dragged a couch up there
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I'll be right there.
[He makes a mental note to put a couch on his balcony when he gets home, if the hypothetical Best Case Scenario ends up being the true outcome.
But for now, he will settle onto the Roof Couch once he makes it up there... might as well be comfortable for the conversation that's been looming for a while now.]
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[ Eli puts off the looming conversation for at least a few more minutes by excitedly spreading his arms out across the couch as though revealing something truly amazing. It is... a couch. He probably dragged it up here from a corner somewhere, meaning it's fairly beat up and a little crooked.
But it's still good! Good enough to be a roof couch, anyway. ]
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[Eli!! You could have asked for help!! But of course it was a repurposed corner-couch, beat up and already worn-in. That's more than fine. It's a perfectly serviceable roof couch. Celeste might be attributing one of the wobbly legs to Eli dragging it up on his own, whether or not that's actually the case.]
We should have found one sooner.
[But then it would have been harder to actually get up and leave the roof. Hm.]
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[ But he did it! It's here! With Celeste sitting on it with him, which was the ultimate goal this entire time. He slides across from where he was seated to sit close to Celeste instead. ]
We should have, yeah, but shit kept happening. It's here now, though.
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[The bigger surprise is that no one posted about it on the network. Sneaky sneaky.
But with Eli sitting closer, Celeste settles against him as always. He's really trying not to think about how much he'll miss how easily they slot together after all this.]
It is. And we're here, now.
[So. That uncomfortable talk, huh.]
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[ Here they are. Eli's quiet a moment longer. He's taking it in, doing his best to commit this to memory: them, finally up here on their ridiculous roof couch, leaning comfortably against one another... He can't avoid asking what needs to be asked forever, however. ]
What do we do if we can't go between worlds at the end of this, Celeste?
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Nothing can last forever, though.]
If we can't go between worlds, then we'll make a decision.
[Presented like it's just that simple, even if he knows it isn't.]
I... want to leave it at that, but we shouldn't. If we make our decision now...
[Then there will be time to simply be. To enjoy what's left here.
And that doesn't mean they can't - or won't - make stupid snap decisions later.]
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My world... doesn't have a whole lot to offer except me. There aren't any circuses or even places for shows and entertainment. Everyone's focused on rebuilding or just surviving. Vampires are part of the RH population, but they aren't treated a whole lot better than I am.
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You say that like you wouldn't be reason enough.
[But he does have a point, even if he hasn't said it. There's the risk that going to Eli's world - one of hardship, one where they aren't at a point he could actively participate in his passions except on his own time. There's the risk of resentment there, with time, if the decision isn't made carefully.]
And my world isn't so different from this one. It's established, and comfortable. You wouldn't want for anything material. But we would be living in the shadows. People who know what we are would look at us strangely for being together, other werewolves wouldn't accept you because you're different, if humans find out what we are, there's the risk of hunters showing up on our doorstep. That... sounds worse than it is, truly. I would be there with you, obviously... but your mom wouldn't.
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[ There was a whole wild shadow ride about this, Celeste. ]
I don't give a crap about other people. Werewolves, hunters, whatever. I... did say I'd stay with you, right? Even if it meant staying with you as a Shadow... I wasn't making that up...
[ But vanishing without even letting his mom know what happened? She'd think he was dead. Could he live with that? In the end? ]
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And Eli also said he'd stay with him, even as a Shadow, so... that consideration does go both ways.]
We do. And I won't have you sacrifice your happiness, either.
[And if living with guilt would taint any comfort they had...]
Back then, I would have gladly dragged you down into darkness with me. Now... I want to stay with you, wherever that takes us... but I also want to give you the world, however I can.
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[ That leaves them exactly where they were before! Nowhere! ]
How do we decide where we're going, then? I don't want you to be miserable, you don't want me to be miserable; how do we figure it out?
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...Would it be worse to say there's also the option of going to neither of our worlds?
[It could dodge any resentment from "you got to go home and I didn't" but it also opens up so many more options to consider.]
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And how would be pick? We go with Izou and McGillis? Or do we go with... like... Mafuyu and Arven?
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[There's really no perfect answer here.]
If we go with Izou and McGillis, I would like to... surprise them, with that choice. [He is still a menace, not even all that deep down.] But I also feel Mafuyu and Arven wouldn't mind us, either.
[Putting that one lightly.]
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[ Not to mention how difficult it would be to shake the feeling of giving up. Leaving instead of fighting for his world. Is it really okay? To just leave like that? ]
But we don't even know if that'll be possible. Mm. I bet McGillis wouldn't be surprised at all. Izou would shit himself. Though Arven's kinda like a little brother to me at this point? And I know you see Mafuyu as a daughter...
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[The struggle with leaving isn't something Celeste can relate to - but it's not something he'll diminish, either. He suspects a great many people from Eli's world would skip out if they could... but that might just make the feeling worse. Not to mention those who would be upset at him taking the chance.
It's tricky. It hurts he can't offer help with it.]
That's a bond, too. The least Braphine can do is help you to send a letter, if you decide to not go home. Aah, I'll get him one of these days. [He's not entirely sure what it'll take, but he's determined.]
I do... and they'll be living on their own. I cannot help but worry about them, even if I know they'll be fine, you know?
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[ It does, unfortunately, beg the question of if Eli even should try leaving his old world behind. ]
Shit, Celeste, what if it's a bad idea for me even to try going elsewhere? Even your world isn't going to have a cure for what I got. If I attack someone and spread it, then it's over.
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...Is it even a good idea to bring this next part up?]
My world isn't going to have a cure for you... yet. Your version of lycanthropy is... more like a curse than the one that exists in my world, to my understanding. But if it is more like a curse... There are people who spend their whole lives, and then their unlives besides, studying those. If there's any world that could have a cure for you... but finding it may not be pleasant.
[Eli would fight gods for him. He'd barter with whatever Chantry or Court or Tribe or Council who would see him for Eli, if need be.]
But... no matter where we are, your world or mine or anyone else's... I'll still hold to what I promised you here. I won't let you hurt anyone else. Just like I know you won't let me lose it and hurt someone.
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