a winter labyrinth

[townmusician]

断ち切るしかないんだろ
注いだ冬は心のラビリンス
後戻りなんて出来ないから
やりきるしかないんだろ
黒い気持ちと手を繋いだって構わない
抱きしめたっていいh

I have to break free
This pouring winter is my heart's labyrinth
I can't go back anymore, so
I have to finish this
I don't care if you took my hand with dark motives
I want you to hold me close

Comments

[townmusician]

Yeah? Where else would I be?

[It's his palace! He doesn't have anywhere else to go!]

[cleansewithfire]

I would not know. I just did not think you would be able to sit in an empty room, even if you can see everything else that is happening here.

[townmusician]

It's a bit plain, isn't it?

I don't need to sell myself a happy ending, though.

[cleansewithfire]

Why not?

[ It's asked in the tone of a genuine, honest-to-god question. ]

[townmusician]

My happiness isn't important. At least not for my fans.

[Because what's important for them is his image, and they'll assume from there.]

[cleansewithfire]

[ For some reason, Sunrise finds herself thinking of Five Echoes back home, and the image is one of raw indignation that Sunrise doesn't necessarily understand but can already imagine, nonetheless. ]

But what about you?

[townmusician]

[Haruka looks over at her, raising an eyebrow.]

What do you mean?

[cleansewithfire]

Is your happiness not important to you?

[townmusician]

Do you think I'm unhappy?

[...]

It's not exactly my first priority, though.

[cleansewithfire]

At least, you do not seem happy.

[ And...well, if he was, this palace would probably be going differently, she thinks. ]

[townmusician]

Mm, maybe I'm not.

[If he was happy this palace would have been a circus.]

I'm used to it, though.

[cleansewithfire]

[ There's a long pause, in the way how Sunrise doesn't speak until the thought has fully formed. ]

...I do not think anyone living should be used to it.

[townmusician]

That's an idealistic way to look at the world, isn't it?

[cleansewithfire]

I would not know if this is "idealistic" or not.

[ She says this so straightforwardly because from her perspective, this is true—the notion of whether it's idealism hadn't crossed her mind. ]

I just know that people have regrets, and it can be difficult to find happiness while carrying them. Some people never do. ...So I think being used to it is lonely.

[ ... ]

And you still tried to give me something that would make me happy, even though I am a mistake.

[townmusician]

[A mistake and a failure—name a more iconic duo.]

So, we should try to live without regrets?

[Which is an impossible ask, depending on how you look at regret. It's impossible to do everything right all the time, so it's inevitable to stumble, to fail, to lose, but accepting those things isn't the same as regretting them.

And even if you somehow manage to be perfect, there can also be regret that tags along with "what if"s.]

The chips weren't anything special, anyways.

[cleansewithfire]

[ Immediately and bluntly: ] No. That is impossible.

[ She thinks she can say so because Sunrise is almost inextricably tied to someone who's made decisions that irrevocably changed their life. They'll probably never really stop regretting it, even if she could somehow fix things. There are regrets big and small that leave indelible marks on the soul. ]

To live and find happiness even with regrets. ...I think that is all people can try to do.

Even if the chips were not special, I can still be happy you considered me.

[townmusician]

[Haruka is quiet for a moment, head tilted to one side as he looks at her. The gold color of his eyes seems a bit warmer than it was before, more like how he usually looks.]

Is that all it takes?

[It sounds simple, when you put it like that.]

[cleansewithfire]

[ ...Oh. Sunrise mirrors Haruka, tilting her head as well. ]

I am not clever or learned, but...perhaps that is all it takes, yes.

[townmusician]

Ehhh...

Well, if that's the case, this makes this all seem kind of extra, doesn't it?

[The drama of it all...]

[cleansewithfire]

I think this is part of trying your best, too.

...Besides, you are a performer, yes?

[townmusician]

Trying your best...

[Well, guess he has to continue ganbaruing.]

And I am. I'm an idol, for all that means.

[cleansewithfire]

[ Figuring out how to be happy involves trial and error, Sunrise is pretty sure. ]

So I think it is fine to be "extra". [ Is she using this word right??? ]

...I hope I get to see one of your performances one day. [ A beat. ] Without fighting.