linkingup | a winter labyrinth

[(19)

Conflict or connection? What if he were to utilize his connection with Haruka, instead? He knows he was watching earlier. He just has to change his performance to be more acceptable to this crowd, this sort of environment, than the deep red curtains and velvet seats that he's most comfortable with.

He already has an idea of what he can do, a recreation of one of the performances from the annual concert that Rhodes Island puts on to market the fashion designers that it likes to partner with. It's a big loud for his tastes, Shalem is too classically trained to be comfortable with screaming into a microphone, but he has to try. Especially since he knows Haruka likes his music on the louder, noisier side.

When he steps up, Shalem introduces himself as Abyss, and not the name many know him by. He has the pure black jacket he came in, and not the one he pilfered from the bag check. And then he begins.

Shalem starts out low, almost a whisper, demanding that people actually listen to him over the music that sounds quite alt. rock. But he doesn't keep them in suspense for too long, because his next line is louder, and the next one louder, he's building up to a shout as he sings. He's practically bellowing into the microphone for the chorus, but not in his usual deep-voiced way when he sings the opera, he's really working hard to sing like the vocalist of a contemporary band.

Then in the second verse he rips his jacket off and tosses it into the crowd. Is it gone forever? Is it ruined? Who knows? He did it for the performance, for the spectacle. He's not Shalem or Abyss, he is a role, an angry young man yelling at the world that treats him unfairly, while proclaiming his constant companion is the only one for him. He jumps across the stage, he screams, he points at the shadowy audience, he gestures wildly and yanks off his hair tie to let his hair fly freely.

But there is a line he repeats over and over in the lyrics, screaming into the mic: Forever young and free! And that is full of genuine emotion, moreso than the rest of the song. It resonates with him in a way, but it was written to fit a different Operator, it's just this one line that fits him the best.

By the end, he's panting, but the intensity in his expression doesn't change until the music ends completely-- how did they even know to pull the right melody... Nevermind. He gives the audience a deep bow and then slinks backstage, resisting the urge to rub his neck.

Ow, his throat... He wants some tea... ~~His "how fucked up is his voice after this" roll came back 16 lol. lmao even~~]

Edited 2024-10-16 04:41 (UTC)

[...

There's no response, at least not immediately, but when Shalem returns to backstage there's a thermos filled with warm tea and some lozenges.

And a note.]

You don't do anything with half-measures, do you?

[Hm.]

[Shalem sees the little gifts, and is taken aback... But eventually smiles. Seems like the Shadow does like him the same way Haruka does.

There's no one in the room with him, so he feels comfortable speaking, even if his throat is sore and his voice is rougher than gravel.]

That was never an option-- we're performers, you and I, beholden to the stage. You know this as well as I do, my dear.

[...]

Save your voice. You wouldn't want to waste your words right now, would you?

[Shalem chuckles softly, then takes a sip of the tea and pops a lozenge.]

Waste them on what? On you? Funny, that.

[He curls up in the armchair he'd been napping in earlier.]

It's not a waste if you're speaking to me right now, even if I prefer your actual presence. I've been trying to get your attention this entire time.

...I noticed. To what end, I wonder?

[Something (someone?) settles on the arm of Shalem's perch, leaning towards him. It definitely seems like the right size and shape to be Haruka, but he's still keeping himself hidden.]

You want something from me. I know that much.

[He definitely notes that figure on the armrest, but he can't truly say it's Haruka. He'll just proceed like it is, and be on alert in the meantime.]

I wanted to have a little fun before breakfast, but imagine my surprise when I woke up and found you gone. [He leans a little towards the armrest.]

Some compensation for losing out on that would be nice.

If you say things like that, you're going to make me think you like having me around.

[He's teasing, of course. Or it at least sounds like he is?]

But where anyone could find you? That's bold, Shalem-san.

[...Haruka doesn't usually use honorifics for Shalem, but hey. This isn't really Haruka, is it?]

You know I do. And you know I'm bold. [He's speaking as if the Shadow is Haruka... then again, he is, he's simply a different part of Haruka. Frankly, Shalem has mixed feelings over the way everyone has been going about "solving" the Shadows, and it's really not solving, is it? Nobody here still seems... truly happy or enlightened. They demand that the person ignore the Shadow, that their connections will "fix" that sort of problem, but that's not right.

Shalem would prefer if the person figured out how to deal with the Shadow on their own, like come to an accord about these darker parts of themselves and accept them. He killed his literally and metaphorically, but that was the only way forward for him.]

I haven't cared about public opinion of me in a long time... Though I do know that the children may not come this way for a while, they're busy hiding out of embarrassment.

If you refuse, just say so. But I would still like something out of you.

Edited 2024-10-17 01:17 (UTC)

I'm not refusing, but I am curious what else you'd want as compensation.

[Oh, hey. Haruka is actually here now, sitting on the arm of the chair.]

What other uses do you have for me?

[It's Haruka's lot in life to be used—a fact he accepted long before this place dragged the parts of him he hides to the surface.]

[With Haruka finally visible and corporeal, Shalem places his head on his lap.]

Stay with me until it's time for you to leave. [Meaning, he knows a fight is inevitable, but he won't do anything to prevent it. It is, after all, an inevitability, a conflict that's necessary.] The sort of intimacy doesn't matter, in the end, as long as you don't deny me your presence.

...That's it?

[He looks down at Shalem, raising an eyebrow. What a weirdo...]

You know that I'm a man with simple needs. [Even if he can be high-maintenance sometimes.]

And my tastes in men are odd. You happen to fit that bill, your sense of drama is amusing.

[The Shadow's, or Haruka's? Why can't it be both?]

The theatrics do it for you, huh? Would you like it if I stayed like this?

[That's definitely not a loaded question, not at all.]

[Now they're getting into loaded question territory. He prepared for this!]

In an ideal world, I would have both. [Shalem turns his head and bites at Haruka's thigh.] But that's an impossibility if we're speaking literally, because the world outside doesn't have magic.

But you? Both of you? You have the power to make it happen in some other way, even if the thought is distasteful to you.

Ironic coming from me, I know.

[You bite Miette? You bite him when you're on limited time? Jail! Jail for Shalem for 100 years!]

And how long until you get bored of me? All of me?

[Shalem smirks up at Haruka, before nuzzling at the spot he'd just bitten, trying to set the mood. In fact, he's reaching up to pat Haruka's cheek, sitting up properly as if ready to pull him down for a kiss. Not that there's much force in his pull, because he's still offering the Shadow an out.

In the same way he did for Haruka during their first time.]

I'll not be bored until the day I die. [Which isn't too far into the future, given the crystals on his skin. He probably has a few more years left in him. Maybe half a decade if he stops using magic completely from now on.]

But there's no boredom to be had with art-- genuine art. You are a singer, a dancer, a true performer. You genuinely enjoy this, and take pride in your work, in yourself, even in an industry that is forever stacked against you.

An artist who enjoys what they do... is critical of themself, but takes genuine joy in what they do, and their personal critique will only make them better as time goes on. An artist who does not feel either cannot give their whole being into their art, and it rings hollow.

[Haruka tweaks one of the tips of his pointed ears in revenge before he starts sitting up, his hand falling away.

The Shadow doesn't look too different from Haruka, except the look in his eyes is harsher.]

You don't have many days left.

[Might as well state the obvious, something they both know is coming.]

What if my art is more important than you? You understand how these things go, so you know that it might be a choice between you and my career.

[And cognitive snakes, apparently.]

My art is more important than you, too. [He might as well admit it. It's the same for him, he likes Haruka, but his art... His art stands above everything.] I want my days to be filled with art, I want to act and dance again, to captivate an audience as myself, and as the role I play. [And murder someone to top it all off. But Haruka knows that.] You understand, don't you? Our art... stands above all. It consumes us, it's more than just the affection of people for each other.

[Pause for effect. He wonders... if Haruka, either part of him, feels the same. Ah well, whatever.]

But there's nothing about not having the art of someone else fill my days as well. If anything, ours are compatible enough to occupy a space and seem... harmonious.

[Haruka is moving away, but Shalem still tries one more time (12), just in case that was a rejection of that one form of intimacy and not him needing to actually leave. He presses his face against Haruka's belly, nuzzling. And moving down.]

[...

He reaches down, tilting Shalem's head up to look him in the eyes. It's not a big secret that one of the things Haruka hates most about himself is that he's weak-willed and too desperate to make other people happy, that all he wants is to be wanted, and even with the worst parts of him at the surface that fact remains.

He strokes Shalem's cheek with his thumb.]

...Why don't we try out a collaboration? Maybe we could make something fun.

[is haruka down for murder....... he might be.....]

Combine our arts and see what happens.

[Shalem smiles up at him, before tilting his head and kissing Haruka's palm.]

I'm amenable to that. Let us... make a lasting impression on everyone. Something that will stay with them forever.

[Now he places his hands on Haruka's hips, pushing his waistband down as far as it'll go.]

Alright, sounds like a good play.

[They should have enough time, if they're quick... Nobody will notice them being missing, at any rate, with reality being what the Shadow wants, here, so he lets Shalem do as he pleases, toying with his hair all the while.]

I guess now you can have your "compensation".

I wouldn't call this compensation, Haruka. More... The signing of an agreement for the future. A handshake, if you will. [Then he smirks up at Haruka, before tugging on him to pull him into his lap. Because of course, it would be a better position to do this, rather than Haruka just staying on the armrest.] A much better handshake.

[Much better and much more strenuous! Let's see if a Shadow can keep up with him, even if Shalem will not be giving him both at the same time.]

a winter labyrinth

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