[Oh, it's serious then. Shalem looks at Haruka and decides that whatever the younger man has in store for him can wait-- or he's just giving Haruka a little time to think about it-- so he'll take care of this first.
He adjusts his pony tail and gestures towards an alley. This is Saffron Street-- he knows the place well.]
This way, then. There's a small nook back here to hide bodies in. [Just a lil joke...]
[He can handle a bit of grim humor! So Shalem's comment doesn't bother him too much. It's in combination with his previous behavior that unsettles him more than anything.
Once they're sufficiently private for his own comfort...]
I'm simply going to ask outright. Are you feeling all right? Ever since my Palace, you've seem... strange.
I noticed a few other times, though I thought them largely incidental. Izou goes crazy over murdering Shadows too, but he's otherwise fine. So to me your actions were isolated moments that had no true bearing on anything else... At least until you turned that aggression towards one of us.
[He presses the topic along, but mention of his Palace gives him a pause.]
But lasting consequences..? Why do you bring this up..?
[The Shadow Game.]
... Shalem, what happened during your Penalty Game?
Stage fright was beaten out of me as a child. [No, he's not joking.
Yes, he's going somewhere with this.]
What is the worst fear of someone who was trained to take on role after role, a dagger in hand and trained to use it, to enjoy it? Their own self, apparently. Such was true for me, and I created the... persona you knew, solely to protect myself, because I was such an uncontrollable beast in the throes of my own passions.
And now I have to wonder why. If all you do is control, you feel nothing but frustration, and that will come spilling out one way or another, like in the outbursts you've seen here and there before your little games. I'll chalk it up to the inability of a child to know better.
[None of this is loaded at all. Nope! He's just saying words to say them!]
[Unloaded doesn't necessarily mean unpacked. Atem remains quiet as he sorts through what Shalem said, shifts his weight onto his other foot and crosses his arms. Enjoyed it? Created his persona? Those words in particular stick out sore, so scabby Atem's almost afraid to pick at it.
He should leave it alone. Accept it and move on, because if Shalem says he's happier this way, then that's all that matters.]
We are both products of how we were raised. It just so happens that the effects of my upbringing were... late to kick in. Or rather, I embraced them late.
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Let's go somewhere private first.
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He adjusts his pony tail and gestures towards an alley. This is Saffron Street-- he knows the place well.]
This way, then. There's a small nook back here to hide bodies in. [Just a lil joke...]
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Once they're sufficiently private for his own comfort...]
I'm simply going to ask outright. Are you feeling all right? Ever since my Palace, you've seem... strange.
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[That doesn't add up to "feeling better."]
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I wonder... with what your Shadow had set for us, why did it not occur to you that there would be lasting consequences?
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[He presses the topic along, but mention of his Palace gives him a pause.]
But lasting consequences..? Why do you bring this up..?
[The Shadow Game.]
... Shalem, what happened during your Penalty Game?
[His stomach twists into knots.]
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For what it's worth, I personally don't believe it is, for me. It just freed me from a few... troubles.
You remember what you set the game to do, don't you? Why don't you hazard a guess as to what my worst fear was?
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It certainly doesn't appear to be stage fright.
cw: child abuse, childhood trauma, murder cult shit
Yes, he's going somewhere with this.]
What is the worst fear of someone who was trained to take on role after role, a dagger in hand and trained to use it, to enjoy it? Their own self, apparently. Such was true for me, and I created the... persona you knew, solely to protect myself, because I was such an uncontrollable beast in the throes of my own passions.
And now I have to wonder why. If all you do is control, you feel nothing but frustration, and that will come spilling out one way or another, like in the outbursts you've seen here and there before your little games. I'll chalk it up to the inability of a child to know better.
[None of this is loaded at all. Nope! He's just saying words to say them!]
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He should leave it alone. Accept it and move on, because if Shalem says he's happier this way, then that's all that matters.]
What do you mean by "enjoy"?
[Atem can't leave it alone.]
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Enjoying the macabre, Atem. And one that we likely created with our own two hands.
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[His heart sinks to his feet.]
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We are both products of how we were raised. It just so happens that the effects of my upbringing were... late to kick in. Or rather, I embraced them late.