linkingup | Kirumi Tojo's Palace | The Ultimate Maid's Failures

Kirumi Tojo's Palace | The Ultimate Maid's Failures

By now everyone may be used to find themselves in bizarre locations, between going into palaces and visiting Nekyia. It might not come as a surprise that it has happened again.

What might come as a surprise, though...is how empty this place is.

All around you there's nothing more than a large, gray, featureless expanse. In the distance there seem to be bars, curving upwards to gather so, so high above you, possibly hundreds of miles above, so high it’s hard to distinguish.

It’s a cage. So unfathomably large. You could escape, were you to get to the edges of the cage, but...it would take forever. No matter how you look at it, you're trapped. The atmosphere is so...hopeless. Devoid of anything even remotely positive.

Not that you want to hang around for long, do you? After all, this is someone's palace. Not a place to stick around at. What to do, though?

It’s all so...empty. Silent. Featureless. A flat expanse of hard gray tiles.

Gather together, everyone. Gather and choose a direction. North, East, West, South. All directions look completely identical, but could it affect your time in this place, somehow? Probably not. But all treks start with the first step. Perhaps, if you get moving, you'll progress?

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[ Oh...strange?

He can handle this and he might be assuming everyone else heard it because of the acoustics, so he places a hand atop his chest. ]

I am Argenti, a Knight of Beauty.

[ After all, he should grant a name when asked for one, right? ]

Miss Kirumi, is that you asking?

[Okay she is maybe distracted from thoughts of smashy-smash by Argenti doing whatever he's doing.]

[Tbe voice doesn't sound like Kirumi's. It sounds very androgynous, in fact! Average in every way. If anything, it almost sounds like it's saying things it has said countless times before.

Perhaps that's why it barely acknowledged the specifics of what Argenti said. Instead...]

Mhmhm. Thank you. Please speak of------what worth would you bring our world? S-----about what strengths and weaknesses will be-----

[It's...it's not so clear now. Argenti still is the only one who is hearing that, but still, seems like a query of some sort, albeit very open]

[ Oh, weird. It does sound very automated indeed. ]

...Strength and weaknesses?

Well, to be quite frank, though I like everyone else has happens to have strengths and weaknesses, I am not certain if they would be worth discussing at this time.

[ Not the first time someone has asked about his strengths (first about weaknesses, though), but his answer personal-wise will not necessarily change much in tone. ]

I'm sorry, what world is this again?

[.........

The camera turns off. From above, a piece of paper flutters down, and everyone can see it, and read its contents. Seems to be a memo, at the corner the logo Argenti had seen]

"Candidate "ARGENTI" shows good aesthethics and a marked tendency to believe in others. Cons: candidate is not a team player and did not answer the question cooperatively.

Rated: 4/10. Needs revisions."

[Well that sure is a critique of him]

Edited 2024-09-30 18:01 (UTC)

[ Coming over to snoop at this paper... ]

So it's some kind of aptitude test? Did Kirumi take part in something like this as well?

[ She certainly seems to have gotten around a lot of different jobs, so it would track?? ]

Alright, let's see what may happen with a passing grade.

[ McGillis will step in front of a camera. ]

[Just like it happened to Argenti, only McGillis hears the exact same voice Argenti did]

Name?

[Regardless of the answer, the next question is mired with static, but at least McGillis can make out enough:]

--describe--made you the person you are now. Why would--yourself?

[A different question, but in general it feels like it could have come from whatever questionnaire the person behind the cameras is working with. What made you the person you are now, McGillis?]

[ Ah, so that's how it is. It really feels like a pretty standard interview reel... even if he's not clear what it's for. It's easy enough to play along for now. ]

My name is McGillis Fareed. The trajectory of my life was decided when I was nine years old and stumbled upon a biography of the Calamity War hero Agnika Kaieru. I've been inspired by his strength and ideals ever since. My great purpose in life was to return Gjallarhorn to an organization worthy of him.

[.........

Like before, the camera turns off. From the skies flutter down a piece of paper with the same logo. Oh, there you go, your evaluation!]

'Candidate MCGILLIS has an interesting basis to work with. Good plotlines could be achieved. Tell-- [unintelligible scribbles]. Cons: Old.

Rating: 8/10. Approved'

[The camera McGillis had been talking with dismantles itself. From the core of it, there's...a piece of some sort of machinery. It looks like the body of a flashlight, but inside there's strange mechanisms and wiring that don't belong in a flashlight at all.

Congrats, though!]

Hmm. It values truth and straightforward answers? [Then he looks around, at the collection of people here. Takes a deep sigh. This is going to be painful for him. Very, very much so.

Then he steps in front of one camera.]

[Well, here we go!]

Name?

[Now, what question will be fired at Shalem today.........]

----define----urself in one word. Just one.

[Oh! That was clearer than other questions, probably because it's such a straightforward request]

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prozaic - 2024-09-30 18:32 (UTC) - Expand

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kandata - 2024-09-30 18:39 (UTC) - Expand

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prozaic - 2024-09-30 18:43 (UTC) - Expand

[ Old????????????????? ]

I'm only 29.

[ This is even younger to him than to others, given people in his social class routinely live into their late 100s....

Anyway, can he turn the mechanism on? ]

[It seems you can't! There's a hole where you'd expect an on/off switch to be placed, but there's no switch right now]

So all we gotta do is get whatever's inside those things out of them?

[Kainé.exe is processing...]

Why don't we just smash 'em? It'd be faster than giving some bleeding-heart speech.

[She couldn't hear the questions from the camera, so she really only knows the half of it.]

I'm not seeing any reason why we can't.

[ no comments on the critique but,

it's maybe a little bit difficult to hide a giggle

but ok back to the main point. ]

So that's the way to turn the cameras off?

[ Wow he saw that!! Anyways. ]

...Maybe so?

Failing a test, hmm. But, then, what if we all take a test and the cameras shut off? What if that's a... [What do the gamers call it... Nope he can't think of the word right now, he doesn't make friends with the gamers of Rhodes Island.] A stalemate?

A stalemate is better than a loss, though?

A stalemate wouldn't resolve this place, I don't think.

[Woah! Aubrey over there has approached a camera, perhaps to smash it into smitheerens, and when trying to avoid its gaze she accidentally makes the tripod shift. It's enough to put Joshua in the camera's sight.

Unlike the others, what Joshua first hears is a sigh. Apparently whatever overworked entity is behind the cameras already is against Joshua, having sensed the reticence to cooperate]

Name?

[The question comes barely giving Joshua time to answer]

-------------------then why---------satisfied with your life or-----

[Probably for the best the quality of sound is so bad, given how much was unintelligible, but there's enough of the question for Joshua to know what it might be asking]

[ hm. sorry overworked and tired camera person but even if joshua's cooperating it will take him a while once he realises that there's no real way to get out of this, huh. ]

Yoshiya Kiryu.

[ hm x2 ]

You're asking stupid questions.

[ sure, he heard the question but that doesn't mean he's going to answer them if it means being Perceived ]

[Before the camera turns off there's another sigh. Woah, there comes your evaluation!]

'Candidate: YOSHI KAKYOIN. Pros: none. Cons: lacking in interest and cooperation. Would need complete rework.

Rating: 0/10. Rejected.'

[Wao]

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finalmix - 2024-09-30 18:47 (UTC) - Expand

...

If we have to pass a stupid test like that, there's no way I'm getting through.

[Just. Putting that out there.]

[ He's never got a bad rating from an interview ever.

Clearly this automated interviewing system lacks BEAUTY. ]

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