[ The sea grass seems interestingly out of place with the other motives, that all show some clear relation to the growing up of a child. There'd been that aquarium at the start too...
McGillis is going to examine this one. ]
cw: hyperawareness, paranoia, manipulation, allusions to stalking
It's late at night, only the desk's lamp sheds any light. The bedroom feels painfully empty, especially with her laptop gone and missing- broken. "Sent in for repairs". The only other light is from the aquarium, seagrass swaying peacefully. Mafuyu's almost envious. ... She could message the girls on her phone right now, check in- maybe get a bit of peace of mind. But-
...
...
...
She has to study. Even though her head is swimming in fog and her chest and stomach hurt. She can push through it. She's got to.
The door opens and suddenly Mafuyu is keenly aware of exactly where everything is, how her own heart is thudding, how close Mom is-
"Mafuyu? How are you doing?"
Bad. Get out. Get out get out get out let her have one space away from you-
She smiles, even if it's tired. "I'm doing okay. Is there something you need, Mom?"
"I hate to interrupt you while you're studying, but there's something I forgot to ask you during dinner."
... Not again...
"No, that's okay. So, what is it that you need to ask me?"
"It's about your finals. I feel that you should've gotten them back by now."
A heavy pit forms in Mafuyu's stomach- she passed, but her grade was so much lower than it normally was- she'd panicked and hidden the test away to avoid this--
"Oh, um... No, I haven't gotten them back yet..."
"Oh, is that true...?"
"Yes, but I should be getting them back soon. Again, the teachers are all very busy with..."
"That's strange. Your teacher told me a different story."
"... Huh?" What? No-
"I went over to your school to talk to them today. About you and about how you did on your finals..."
"What? A-About... How I did on my finals...?" Mafuyu can feel pinpricks of tears forming but she's not sure if it's guilt and shame, or fear. "Um, so... I'm sorry..."
Mom frowns, but she speaks gently. (Gentle as a knife.) "Why didn't you tell me sooner...?"
"Because... I did so poorly that... I was afraid to tell you..."
"Mafuyu... I see... Thank you for being honest with me. But I'd really rather you told me these things without hesitating. There's no need to hide anything from me. I understand that it must've been a little difficult to get a hold of me recently since I've also been busy with things. I'm sorry about that."
"N-No, it wasn't that. I'm really sorry, Mom..."
Mom sighs, before crossing her arms.
"What's done is done... So, let's discuss your plan moving forward. Since you'll need to study even more to make up for the ground you've lost. For the time being, you may want to reduce the time you spend on extracurricular activities. What do you think...?"
Mafuyu falters, remembering the quiet urges to stop going to archery club, and to pull back from the student council. ... But she does need to focus more on her studies...
"Okay, I'll do that..." she agrees quietly.
Mom smiles, and extends her hand. "In that case, I doubt you'll be needing your phone."
...
What? She's going to be sick. The girls- they go to different schools- and then the SEKAI-
"What...? My phone...? Wh-Why...?"
"Why...? Because it's a distraction. It'll keep you from focusing."
"No, I'll be fine... My phone shouldn't affect how I study. I promise to keep my grades from slipping even further...!"
"Mafuyu... I'm actually very worried... I called your cram school teacher and they told me that you missed class the other day because "you weren't feeling well"... From what I recall, you didn't come home until quite late that day."
... No- That was- she couldn't breathe, couldn't even look at a text from her mom without feeling sick, so the girls brought her someplace to play instead. Mom keeps talking.
"I understand your desire to spend time with your friends. When I was your age, all I wanted to was go out and do things with them. However, those sorts of distractions will prevent you from focusing on your studies... That's what I'm worried about. At this rate, you may not do very well on your next mock exam... Which means you may not do well on the real thing. If that were to happen... You won't be able to make your dream come true."
"My dream...?"
"Yes. You wouldn't want that to happen, do you? So, I'll be taking your phone for safekeeping. In exchange, I'll give you a phone that can only make calls. You'll still be able to reach me with that."
Mom reaches for her desk, for her phone, and Mafuyu feels helpless. What can she do? (Fight back.)
"Don't worry, Mafuyu. I'll return it to you when it actually becomes necessary. So, I'll be taking this from-"
Mafuyu stands abruptly, swiping her phone away.
"No! Please, stop...! Anything but this...! Mom, I beg you...! I promise to study and do better! So please! Anything but my phone...! Because without this, I..."
Mom seems- surprised? Angry? Offended?
"Mafuyu... What's gotten into you...? Like I just said, this won't do you any good right now. Why can't you see that...?!"
"My friends have nothing to do with my grades slipping! That happened because I..."
"No, I know that's not true. Because nothing like this ever happened until recently... Which means... It's her fault! That Yoisaki girl...!"
...? How does she know-
"How do you know about Kanade?"
"I felt the need to see what your so-called friend is like..."
Kanade has no trace except online. How does she know about- did Mom break into her accounts to- nonononono-
"Does that mean you met her...? Why? What did you even talk about?"
Mom glares.
"None of that matters right now. So, give me your phone!"
And the woman practically lunges to try and pry the device from her daughter's hands- and it, being the only lifeline she has, goes well defended. But... Mom still gets a hold of it. And the next thing Mafuyu knows, there's a splash of water.
It lets out bubbles as it sinks to the bottom of the tank.
Mafuyu tries to fish it out but Mom pulls her back.
"Mafuyu, stop!"
She ignores her, desperately trying to tend to the phone.
"...It won't turn on... Why..."
Mom is quiet, before gently speaking as she gives Mafuyu a hug that feels more like a cage.
"I'm sorry, Mafuyu. I didn't mean for this to happen... I wasn't hoping that your phone would break... I'll make sure to buy you a new one by the time you've taken your mock exam... So, let's both just try to calm ourselves down. For now, you should rest."
...
And then she's gone. The mock exam... that's not for weeks. And...
[ That's a lot. Even McGillis can understand that it's a horrible cage that Mafuyu is being locked into.
When he molded himself into the perfect golden boy, he'd done so out of his own will. To survive. To succeed. Everything he'd done, he'd done for himself - but that also meant he always knew what the purpose was at the core of it.
In a strange way, maybe not having known the same kind of rock bottom that McGillis comes from makes it harder for Mafuyu to struggle through something like this. Makes it feel pointless, with no goal at the end of it. ]
[ A house that suffocates you, with a parent who makes you feel like you're drowning in a pit of tar. An obedient child, allowing themselves to be smothered for what- for what- for what- ]
The light is silent, and then McGillis will feel a tight squeeze of his shoulder. The flicker of a man appears again, and its clear to see he's equal parts furious (always furious), concerned and relieved- Mafuyu is a child who's been worn down to nothing, she can't stand alone the way they both wish she could yet.
no subject
McGillis is going to examine this one. ]
cw: hyperawareness, paranoia, manipulation, allusions to stalking
...
...
...
She has to study. Even though her head is swimming in fog and her chest and stomach hurt. She can push through it. She's got to.
The door opens and suddenly Mafuyu is keenly aware of exactly where everything is, how her own heart is thudding, how close Mom is-
"Mafuyu? How are you doing?"
Bad. Get out. Get out get out get out let her have one space away from you-
She smiles, even if it's tired. "I'm doing okay. Is there something you need, Mom?"
"I hate to interrupt you while you're studying, but there's something I forgot to ask you during dinner."
... Not again...
"No, that's okay. So, what is it that you need to ask me?"
"It's about your finals. I feel that you should've gotten them back by now."
A heavy pit forms in Mafuyu's stomach- she passed, but her grade was so much lower than it normally was- she'd panicked and hidden the test away to avoid this--
"Oh, um... No, I haven't gotten them back yet..."
"Oh, is that true...?"
"Yes, but I should be getting them back soon. Again, the teachers are all very busy with..."
"That's strange. Your teacher told me a different story."
"... Huh?" What? No-
"I went over to your school to talk to them today. About you and about how you did on your finals..."
"What? A-About... How I did on my finals...?" Mafuyu can feel pinpricks of tears forming but she's not sure if it's guilt and shame, or fear. "Um, so... I'm sorry..."
Mom frowns, but she speaks gently. (Gentle as a knife.) "Why didn't you tell me sooner...?"
"Because... I did so poorly that... I was afraid to tell you..."
"Mafuyu... I see... Thank you for being honest with me. But I'd really rather you told me these things without hesitating. There's no need to hide anything from me. I understand that it must've been a little difficult to get a hold of me recently since I've also been busy with things. I'm sorry about that."
"N-No, it wasn't that. I'm really sorry, Mom..."
Mom sighs, before crossing her arms.
"What's done is done... So, let's discuss your plan moving forward. Since you'll need to study even more to make up for the ground you've lost. For the time being, you may want to reduce the time you spend on extracurricular activities. What do you think...?"
Mafuyu falters, remembering the quiet urges to stop going to archery club, and to pull back from the student council. ... But she does need to focus more on her studies...
"Okay, I'll do that..." she agrees quietly.
Mom smiles, and extends her hand. "In that case, I doubt you'll be needing your phone."
...
What? She's going to be sick. The girls- they go to different schools- and then the SEKAI-
"What...? My phone...? Wh-Why...?"
"Why...? Because it's a distraction. It'll keep you from focusing."
"No, I'll be fine... My phone shouldn't affect how I study. I promise to keep my grades from slipping even further...!"
"Mafuyu... I'm actually very worried... I called your cram school teacher and they told me that you missed class the other day because "you weren't feeling well"... From what I recall, you didn't come home until quite late that day."
... No- That was- she couldn't breathe, couldn't even look at a text from her mom without feeling sick, so the girls brought her someplace to play instead. Mom keeps talking.
"I understand your desire to spend time with your friends. When I was your age, all I wanted to was go out and do things with them. However, those sorts of distractions will prevent you from focusing on your studies... That's what I'm worried about. At this rate, you may not do very well on your next mock exam... Which means you may not do well on the real thing. If that were to happen... You won't be able to make your dream come true."
"My dream...?"
"Yes. You wouldn't want that to happen, do you? So, I'll be taking your phone for safekeeping. In exchange, I'll give you a phone that can only make calls. You'll still be able to reach me with that."
Mom reaches for her desk, for her phone, and Mafuyu feels helpless. What can she do? (Fight back.)
"Don't worry, Mafuyu. I'll return it to you when it actually becomes necessary. So, I'll be taking this from-"
Mafuyu stands abruptly, swiping her phone away.
"No! Please, stop...! Anything but this...! Mom, I beg you...! I promise to study and do better! So please! Anything but my phone...! Because without this, I..."
Mom seems- surprised? Angry? Offended?
"Mafuyu... What's gotten into you...? Like I just said, this won't do you any good right now. Why can't you see that...?!"
"My friends have nothing to do with my grades slipping! That happened because I..."
"No, I know that's not true. Because nothing like this ever happened until recently... Which means... It's her fault! That Yoisaki girl...!"
...? How does she know-
"How do you know about Kanade?"
"I felt the need to see what your so-called friend is like..."
Kanade has no trace except online. How does she know about- did Mom break into her accounts to- nonononono-
"Does that mean you met her...? Why? What did you even talk about?"
Mom glares.
"None of that matters right now. So, give me your phone!"
And the woman practically lunges to try and pry the device from her daughter's hands- and it, being the only lifeline she has, goes well defended. But... Mom still gets a hold of it. And the next thing Mafuyu knows, there's a splash of water.
It lets out bubbles as it sinks to the bottom of the tank.
Mafuyu tries to fish it out but Mom pulls her back.
"Mafuyu, stop!"
She ignores her, desperately trying to tend to the phone.
"...It won't turn on... Why..."
Mom is quiet, before gently speaking as she gives Mafuyu a hug that feels more like a cage.
"I'm sorry, Mafuyu. I didn't mean for this to happen... I wasn't hoping that your phone would break... I'll make sure to buy you a new one by the time you've taken your mock exam... So, let's both just try to calm ourselves down. For now, you should rest."
...
And then she's gone. The mock exam... that's not for weeks. And...
...
...
She can't even tell anyone, anymore.
no subject
When he molded himself into the perfect golden boy, he'd done so out of his own will. To survive. To succeed. Everything he'd done, he'd done for himself - but that also meant he always knew what the purpose was at the core of it.
In a strange way, maybe not having known the same kind of rock bottom that McGillis comes from makes it harder for Mafuyu to struggle through something like this. Makes it feel pointless, with no goal at the end of it. ]
no subject
You understand.
no subject
I do.
[ A house that suffocates you, with a parent who makes you feel like you're drowning in a pit of tar. An obedient child, allowing themselves to be smothered for what- for what- for what- ]
no subject
Don't waste it.
no subject
[ What do you take him for, blue light? ]
Why didn't she 'keep' you?
no subject
I am KAITO. I am her anger and fury, locked away for years, because she had to live more than she had to defend herself.
I am very tired of being locked away.
no subject
[ Speaking from experience here. ]
But I do believe you're right. It's finally time to let you run wild.
no subject
But I am a guide above all else. I can't fight for you. But we can provide clarity when you need it. And you will need it.
no subject
Until the time she can become one with you again.
no subject
Thank you.