IN THE FOREST OF THE LOST

[beathollow]

it's all too perfect.

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THE GALLERY

[beathollow]

An art hall, as well as a display for so many frames of pinned butterflies. They're all purple and blue.

Multiple paintings seem to display moments of pride in Mafuyu's life, but there's also several empty frames.

[beautifulknight]

[ How unsettling...let's check this out. Anything in particular that can be further examined about these butterflies other than their colors? ]

[beathollow]

There's a feeling of despair.

Of being put on a pedestal. And it keeps raising higher and higher and higher, and you can't see the ground- it wobbles with every poorly thought out movement, and if it drops- if you fall-

Will you survive?



Your chest hurts. Everyone is watching you.

[beautifulknight]

[ Argenti freezes at the feeling of despair that grips his heart - it's a familiar feeling that has him recalling too how well it felt to not to want to trip over expectations. Defined perhaps by something greater, but still...

...Ah.

Well then. He has a feeling that this is what Mafuyu felt, isn't it? The words that gardener said, the many awards littered in front of his eyes, wreathed in gold...

Expectations. Being held to an impossible standard - on such a high pedestal it feels like one single mistake would kill you. How long has Mafuyu suffered such things, he wonders?

Does the feeling abate? ]

[beathollow]

No.

All eyes are on you. You have to be good. You have to be good. You have to be good.




You have to be perfect. Or she'll get upset-

...

The frame with the merry-go-round seems to be resonating, somehow.

[beautifulknight]

[ It feels absolutely dreadful, this kind of spotlight.

Yes, familiar but not his.

Anxiety that isn't his own is intermingling with him so deeply. But he isn't exactly paralyzed by it even if the words that lay across his mind and soul like a hot brand seem to find a way to leave an undeniable mark.

Traces - heavy imprints - of Mafuyu's further worries and fears - her despair - and then he blinks.

He turns towards the frame with the merry-go-round. Does he see anything there? ]

[bloodweapon]

[Fray's also here too, time to go look at those empty frames! Are the frames themselves different from the other ones?]

[beathollow]

The frames themselves seem duller. There's five of them, too.

[bloodweapon]

[Hmm! Anything different between these five frames or are they all identical?]

[beathollow]

If he looks closely, he can see different engravings at the bottom of each one...

A merry-go-round, an apple, a broken heart, a ...laptop?, and a cluster of sea grass.

[bloodweapon]

[Huh... Maybe we need to put something in these? Anything else noteworthy about these frames?]

[townmusician]

[Theater is a form of art, so Haruka is hoping to find some clues in the gallery hall for where other artsy-fartsy things are. The pinned butterflies are kind of gross, so he's spending more time looking at the empty frames.

Are they just Normal Empty, or does it look like the paintings were removed...]

[beathollow]

Something was definitely torn away, and the frames themselves are lacking the same polish as everything else.

[townmusician]

[Are there signs of any scraps from what was torn away?

Asides from that, he's going to go snoop on the actual remaining paintings. He sees the two knights are looking at some, so instead of bothering them he goes to check the painting with the broken heart on it.

Which will surely be a good time for everyone.]

cw: manipulation

[beathollow]

Mafuyu steps through the threshold into the entryway to her house.

"Mom, I'm home..." ... There's no answer, though. Mom's usually here to greet her... "Mom? Is everything okay?"

As she heads deeper into her house, there's nothing- until there is. Mom sits at the table, looking nervous.

"Um- Mafuyu... is there anything you're hiding from me?"

...

"What...? No, nothing. Why would I hide anything from you, Mom...?"

"Are you sure? Can you say that while looking straight into my eyes?"

Mafuyu falters. This is... her stomach churns. What could she be hiding...? ... Her music?

"No, I'm not hiding anything from you. Again, Mom, why would I ever do that...?"

"Then, what is the meaning of this?" Mom asks, pulling something out and putting it on the table- Mafuyu almost flinches.

My synthesizer...!

"I found it while cleaning your room just now. You have no use for it, so it's only going to get in the way, no? It must be because your father just let it gather dust after buying it. Anyway, I'm thinking about having it taken away tomorrow..."

"Why...?"

"Why...? Because you don't need it, right?"

"But I..."

...

Something snags, like a record skipping. Time has passed, but...

Mafuyu tries to move up to her room but. Mom stops her, holding the synthesizer again, blocking the way.

"I thought we'd gotten rid of this. What was it doing in your room, Mafuyu?"

"Um, so... I was thinking that I could invest in my future by learning more about it."

"What do you mean...?"

"One of my friends knows how to play music and I gained some interest after seeing what she can do, so I decided to study music a little. You've heard of music therapy, right? I thought it might help me in the future..."

It's a bold-faced lie, but- surely Mom will approve?

"Oh, I see...I'm so proud of you, Mafuyu. You're taking the initiative by trying to learn new things."

Mafuyu perks up with a hopeful smile. Mom smiles back gently, but...

"However... Is this really all that necessary right now?"

"Huh?"

"Yes, music is indeed a wonderful thing and music therapy may prove to serve you well when you do become a doctor. But I'm also worried. I'm worried that music will get in the way of your studies and even lead to less-than-ideal results by the time entrance exams roll around. Of course, you're smart, and a good girl above all else, so I'm sure you'll do just fine... But I can't help but wonder if this is going to end up limiting the choices that are available to you in the future."

Mafuyu frowns. "Mom..."

"I'm sure you can learn all about music therapy in medical school... And if you wish to relax, I'm sure there are many other ways... Oh, why don't you watch more movies like you did last night? Didn't you say you want to improve your listening skills by turning the subtitles off? I'll ask this teacher I know about any movies that they think will help with that."

Mafuyu's quiet. Why...? She has to keep trying. Music is...

"Thank you, Mom... I'm sorry for making you worry so much... But... I'm glad to see that you're so worried about me, Mom... But I want to try my hand at music...Of course, I promise not to let it get in the way of my studies and will try not to be too much of a burden on my friend..."

Mom thinks for a moment.

"Is this friend of yours the same age as you...?"

"Huh? Yes, just about..."

"I see... That's so marvelous, Mafuyu. I understand why you're so interested in the arts since they can do wonders for your mind. But is this friend in the process of getting ready for entrance exams...?"

... Huh? Kanade does online schooling, and isn't interested in college, but...

"If this friend of yours was actually studying for exams and aiming for high-level goals like you, Mafuyu, then I'd be more than happy to let you take this on as a nice, relaxing hobby..."

"Studying for exams...?"

She's said too much- Mom latches onto it like a viper.

"Ah, I see... Mafuyu, I know it's important to be exposed to different kinds of people, but networking with the right people is just as important. So, what you need right now are peers who are studying just as hard as you for entrance exams. Am I wrong...? You surely stand to benefit much more from having friends who are trying to achieve the same kinds of goals as you, Mafuyu."

Mafuyu can feel her head swimming but- she can't give up. Not on music. Not on the others-

"Yes, I understand that, but I..."

Mom looks like she's hurt.

"What's gotten into you today? Did I do something that wasn't to your liking...? All I'm trying to do is make sure you have the best future possible..."

Nonononono not this- Mafuyu immediately recoils.

"I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean to step on your toes...! I know you're always putting serious thought into my future, so I apologize for making you worry so much..."

"No, that's okay. If there's something you truly wish to do, I plan on being there to support you. I'm worried about you, so I can't help but state how I feel... However, Mafuyu, it's ultimately your life to live... So you're free to do whatever you like... If you truly wish to do something, Mafuyu, you're free to do it... Just don't regret your decision, okay...?"

Mafuyu freezes.

... Why would she regret... what would happen... Mom's disappointed, she's being bad, she... if she didn't meet expectations then... ... Mom's going to cry again, not again, she can't do this- she has to be good-

"I... I want to..." Keep making music. "I'm sorry, Mom... I'll give up on music... And I'll use that time to prepare for exams, so you don't have to worry so much about me."

Mom smiles apologetically... but it's still a smile.

"You're sure about that...?"

"Yes, since my studies come first."

"Good... I'm so relieved. That means you don't need this synthesizer anymore, right? I'll hold onto it for now."

"Yes, okay. I'm sorry for saying what I did. I'll be in my room studying until it's time for dinner..."

Mafuyu moves robotically, but her head is foggy and her chest hurts so much. She barely notices that she's crying by the time she closes her door.

Just don't regret your decision, okay...? plays in her head, again and again.

[townmusician]

[Haruka's quiet and still for a moment, after seeing a memory like that. It's not something he can entirely relate to, no, but that doesn't make it something that he can just accept. For being a mother, that woman is... cruel. She doesn't really care about her daughter or her daughter's happiness, and it's just more and more obvious with everything he finds out.

Then, whatever spell all of these memories have on Haruka breaks, and he straightens up. The Little Mermaid pops up over his shoulder and casts Maragi, setting the paintings on fire.

He's going to do whatever he can to spite this woman who can hardly be called a mother and get rid of the stranglehold she has on Mafuyu.]

[finalmix]

[ don't regret your decision.... ah.

post-battle and full heal, wandering into the gallery, joshua's taken a couple of cursory looks at most of the frames and for the most part...

let's just say that he's forming an Opinion about mafumom.

but for someone that has such a fundamental relationship with music, this is the first memory that gets something close to a reaction from joshua.

and softly, almost to himself: ] ... but how do you give up something that fundamental to your very soul?

[vogelfrei]

[ The sea grass seems interestingly out of place with the other motives, that all show some clear relation to the growing up of a child. There'd been that aquarium at the start too...

McGillis is going to examine this one. ]

cw: hyperawareness, paranoia, manipulation, allusions to stalking

[beathollow]

It's late at night, only the desk's lamp sheds any light. The bedroom feels painfully empty, especially with her laptop gone and missing- broken. "Sent in for repairs". The only other light is from the aquarium, seagrass swaying peacefully. Mafuyu's almost envious. ... She could message the girls on her phone right now, check in- maybe get a bit of peace of mind. But-

...

...

...

She has to study. Even though her head is swimming in fog and her chest and stomach hurt. She can push through it. She's got to.

The door opens and suddenly Mafuyu is keenly aware of exactly where everything is, how her own heart is thudding, how close Mom is-

"Mafuyu? How are you doing?"

Bad. Get out. Get out get out get out let her have one space away from you-

She smiles, even if it's tired. "I'm doing okay. Is there something you need, Mom?"

"I hate to interrupt you while you're studying, but there's something I forgot to ask you during dinner."

... Not again...

"No, that's okay. So, what is it that you need to ask me?"

"It's about your finals. I feel that you should've gotten them back by now."

A heavy pit forms in Mafuyu's stomach- she passed, but her grade was so much lower than it normally was- she'd panicked and hidden the test away to avoid this--

"Oh, um... No, I haven't gotten them back yet..."

"Oh, is that true...?"

"Yes, but I should be getting them back soon. Again, the teachers are all very busy with..."

"That's strange. Your teacher told me a different story."

"... Huh?" What? No-

"I went over to your school to talk to them today. About you and about how you did on your finals..."

"What? A-About... How I did on my finals...?" Mafuyu can feel pinpricks of tears forming but she's not sure if it's guilt and shame, or fear. "Um, so... I'm sorry..."

Mom frowns, but she speaks gently. (Gentle as a knife.) "Why didn't you tell me sooner...?"

"Because... I did so poorly that... I was afraid to tell you..."

"Mafuyu... I see... Thank you for being honest with me. But I'd really rather you told me these things without hesitating. There's no need to hide anything from me. I understand that it must've been a little difficult to get a hold of me recently since I've also been busy with things. I'm sorry about that."

"N-No, it wasn't that. I'm really sorry, Mom..."

Mom sighs, before crossing her arms.

"What's done is done... So, let's discuss your plan moving forward. Since you'll need to study even more to make up for the ground you've lost. For the time being, you may want to reduce the time you spend on extracurricular activities. What do you think...?"

Mafuyu falters, remembering the quiet urges to stop going to archery club, and to pull back from the student council. ... But she does need to focus more on her studies...

"Okay, I'll do that..." she agrees quietly.

Mom smiles, and extends her hand. "In that case, I doubt you'll be needing your phone."

...

What? She's going to be sick. The girls- they go to different schools- and then the SEKAI-

"What...? My phone...? Wh-Why...?"

"Why...? Because it's a distraction. It'll keep you from focusing."

"No, I'll be fine... My phone shouldn't affect how I study. I promise to keep my grades from slipping even further...!"

"Mafuyu... I'm actually very worried... I called your cram school teacher and they told me that you missed class the other day because "you weren't feeling well"... From what I recall, you didn't come home until quite late that day."

... No- That was- she couldn't breathe, couldn't even look at a text from her mom without feeling sick, so the girls brought her someplace to play instead. Mom keeps talking.

"I understand your desire to spend time with your friends. When I was your age, all I wanted to was go out and do things with them. However, those sorts of distractions will prevent you from focusing on your studies... That's what I'm worried about. At this rate, you may not do very well on your next mock exam... Which means you may not do well on the real thing. If that were to happen... You won't be able to make your dream come true."

"My dream...?"

"Yes. You wouldn't want that to happen, do you? So, I'll be taking your phone for safekeeping. In exchange, I'll give you a phone that can only make calls. You'll still be able to reach me with that."

Mom reaches for her desk, for her phone, and Mafuyu feels helpless. What can she do? (Fight back.)

"Don't worry, Mafuyu. I'll return it to you when it actually becomes necessary. So, I'll be taking this from-"

Mafuyu stands abruptly, swiping her phone away.

"No! Please, stop...! Anything but this...! Mom, I beg you...! I promise to study and do better! So please! Anything but my phone...! Because without this, I..."

Mom seems- surprised? Angry? Offended?

"Mafuyu... What's gotten into you...? Like I just said, this won't do you any good right now. Why can't you see that...?!"

"My friends have nothing to do with my grades slipping! That happened because I..."

"No, I know that's not true. Because nothing like this ever happened until recently... Which means... It's her fault! That Yoisaki girl...!"

...? How does she know-

"How do you know about Kanade?"

"I felt the need to see what your so-called friend is like..."

Kanade has no trace except online. How does she know about- did Mom break into her accounts to- nonononono-

"Does that mean you met her...? Why? What did you even talk about?"

Mom glares.

"None of that matters right now. So, give me your phone!"

And the woman practically lunges to try and pry the device from her daughter's hands- and it, being the only lifeline she has, goes well defended. But... Mom still gets a hold of it. And the next thing Mafuyu knows, there's a splash of water.

It lets out bubbles as it sinks to the bottom of the tank.

Mafuyu tries to fish it out but Mom pulls her back.

"Mafuyu, stop!"

She ignores her, desperately trying to tend to the phone.

"...It won't turn on... Why..."

Mom is quiet, before gently speaking as she gives Mafuyu a hug that feels more like a cage.

"I'm sorry, Mafuyu. I didn't mean for this to happen... I wasn't hoping that your phone would break... I'll make sure to buy you a new one by the time you've taken your mock exam... So, let's both just try to calm ourselves down. For now, you should rest."

...

And then she's gone. The mock exam... that's not for weeks. And...

...

...

She can't even tell anyone, anymore.

[vogelfrei]

[ That's a lot. Even McGillis can understand that it's a horrible cage that Mafuyu is being locked into.

When he molded himself into the perfect golden boy, he'd done so out of his own will. To survive. To succeed. Everything he'd done, he'd done for himself - but that also meant he always knew what the purpose was at the core of it.

In a strange way, maybe not having known the same kind of rock bottom that McGillis comes from makes it harder for Mafuyu to struggle through something like this. Makes it feel pointless, with no goal at the end of it. ]

[beathollow]

A blue light floats beside him, and for a moment McGillis might see the image of a man. But it's gone just as quickly.

You understand.

[vogelfrei]

[ Ah... Interesting. ]

I do.

[ A house that suffocates you, with a parent who makes you feel like you're drowning in a pit of tar. An obedient child, allowing themselves to be smothered for what- for what- for what- ]

[cleansewithfire]

[ Some time before she walked in 15 minutes late with Starbucks to the battle in the banquet hall-

She peers at the paintings before she goes to look at the one with the broken heart. ]

[beathollow]

Well...

[cleansewithfire]

[ Sunrise stares for a long moment after. There are things she feels she isn't quite wrapping her head around—all this talk about entrance exams as though it will make or break Mafuyu's life sounds a little silly to her, and even if they are important she doesn't see why it should be to the exclusion of other things Mafuyu wants to do.

(And maybe she just doesn't like how this woman seems to look down on music. Even if she never quite says it, Sunrise doesn't think her intuition is mistaken on that front. It is perhaps biased of Sunrise, but she can't help but feel offended when music is the lifeblood of the people she knows, and the day she first watched a performance was the first time she realised how much bigger the world is.)

But most of all, Sunrise does not like how she speaks of regret. This is not about making choices one has to live with after, so much as it is talking about choice while trying to delineate a single path in nearly the same breath. It reminds her of Varang, in its less pleasant aspects.

For a long moment, she considers taking the painting down, but after another moment of consideration decides not to, if only because these are still Mafuyu's memories, unpleasant they may be. It would be better to ask her what she'd rather do about them if she even wants to do anything about them at all.

She also realises if she stays in this room she will actually try to figure out how to burn it down, so she will be walking out. ]