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What's Up?

Mafuyu and Aerith have hatched a plan to give Braphine's Chosen some time to relax and have fun together! And just in the nick of time...

Date and Location

Afternoon of Monday, October tth into October 8th
The Aquarium within the Office District

The sway of water

It's a normal morning for anyone who's managing to sleep a standard schedule- up until a mass text goes out, that is. Everyone will find the same thing from either Mafuyu or Aerith's username:

... Simple enough. And should you choose to attend, both your hostesses will be pleased to see you once it's time to head over.

As they said, the aquarium is largely empty save for the group, and it's definitely worth it. A serene song plays overhead while attendants give tours or explanations as needed. The variety of aquatic life is surprisingly vast as well, and spacious halls give way to plenty of opportunity to explore.

Come nightfall, certain rooms dim the lights but the tanks stay lit- or black lit as darker enclosures like the jellyfish hall and the octopus tanks remain- and only a few staff remain to keep an eye on things- so... stay on your best behavior. The two restaurants stay open- a regular fast food joint with kitschy island cabana theming, and a much more upscale lounge where Aerith plans on corralling the adults for fun this evening.

Once it's time for the age groups to split, Aerith will lead the adults to a pleasant lounge with more tanks, large couches or more private tables, and a view overlooking one of the main rooms of the aquarium- wave to the kids if they're there! Or don't. Bouquets of flowers are placed around the room, and it looks like Aerith has a few ideas already, though she won't stop anyone from going out to review the different sections again.

Contrasting Mafuyu, who is content to let the fellow teens do whatever- though if they do congregate, she's not really the social sort and will simply be content to enjoy the vibes. Even if you just want to take a nap somewhere, there's plenty of dark secluded areas to do so.

Out of character!

This log is for an ic sleepover hosted at the aquarium! All characters are invited but attendance is not mandatory. That said, there are still staff members ready to boot any troublemakers out. We wanted to keep the types of displays vague to give everyone creative freedom, and characters are welcome to flit about between groups as they desire, be it to check in or to to snoop or whatever. As discussed with the mods, this does count as an open event and can be used for rewards. Thank you all for your interest!

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[Later in the evening, when party games are over and the adults have been ushered into the lounge away from the teens. It makes the atmosphere more subdued, the crowd thinner and thus a little better for private conversation. Especially since McGillis is assuredly in the quietest corner of the room.

Izou, drink in hand, is trotting over, and will perch next to McGillis, unless he's in an armchair, at which point Izou is poised on the arm of it, as if threatening at any moment to slip into the larger man's lap.]

Oi, I gotta talk to you.

[It's clear that he doesn't really want to have a serious conversation. But he is attempting to do so anyway.]

[ It's an armchair now, because that image is funniest and also it means that McGillis is comfortable enough that he'd been visibly straining to stay awake before Izou arrived. Let's give it up for a week and a half of sleep deprivation!

Izou appearing makes him immediately feel alert though - even if he doesn't really feel like he wants to see him right now, when he feels like an exposed nerve and barely knows what to do with himself thanks to that. ]

Do you?

[ He'll close his book and put it to the side though - despite the slightly frosty reception, he will not refuse the conversation. ]

[A frosty reception barely means anything with McGillis, he's so often in a sullen mood as far as Izou's concerned. That said, because he isn't brave enough to just jump to the "what are we" question, he's going to put his foot in his mouth instead.]

Are you just your regular amount of sullen right now or are you all wound up about me getting cosy with Eli and Celeste?

[ His regular amount of sullen... Is that really how he comes across these days?

Hard to keep thinking about it when Izou instantly ramps up from 0 to 100 with that question. ]

You can get close to whomever you like, it's not like you owe me anything.

[ This does not answer what was actually asked. ]

[Yeah it sure doesn't.]

I know that I can do whatever the hell I want. If you tried to tell me otherwise I'd kick your ass.

[THAT SAID]

But that ain't what I asked. I asked if it's botherin' you.

And if it was?

[ A question that is as good as an admission, just more annoying about it. It adds the layer of separation McGillis feels like he needs, because he's struggling enough just admitting outright to himself that he wants Izou's full attention. Saying it to the man himself is... Well, he might have gotten there in time, but the time had not been granted. ]

[Izou had suspected it already, so yeah, this is as good an admission as far as confirming it. But acting on it? Nah.]

If it was... Then...

[He's thought about it a lot, and is still turning it over in his head. But.]

Well I'd wanna know why. If it was a good reason, I wouldn't go doin' things like that you didn't like.

[Glancing at McGillis, trusting a smart guy like him to know what this means. An invitation, claim him if you really want.]

[ That is... honestly more than McGillis expected from Izou, and he's not sure what to make of it. That Izou would let himself be tied to McGillis at all comes as a mild surprise, though it maybe shouldn't - after all, the man craves validation and belonging more than anything in the world. So if McGillis was offering that...

Well. It'd be easy to think up the correct words to bind Izou to himself here. It's too bad, thus, that simply binding Izou is not what McGillis actually wants.

What does he want? He himself has to wonder. He's been pushing this as far as he could this whole time in search of something, and even now he doesn't know what that something he sought is. An end, maybe - what end?

He's too tired to have this conversation and Izou is probably too drunk to have this conversation, but they're still having it. It always winds up inconvenient like that. ]

I'm not in love with you. [ That's a bad start, but it's also an honest start. Something he knows with some amount of certainty. ] If that is the 'good reason' you want, then I can't provide.

[ Okay, that out of the way it gets muddier. McGillis turns to face Izou best as he can in the armchair and armchair-armrest positioning they are in. His voice is quiet, because being overheard saying all of this would be a nightmare. ]

I'm just being selfish. I want your eyes on me, because I feel it's the least you can do after pushing through so many of my boundaries. I'm not in love with you - I just want you to be mine.

[It should sting, Izou knows this. It should offend him, anger him, especially with the way McGillis doubles down on it, as if the very idea that he would be in love with Izou is offensive and ridiculous. It should. But it doesn't. Or well, the second time is a little annoying, but it doesn't truly upset him because frankly if McGillis had confessed his undying love Izou wouldn't know what to do with that. For starters he wouldn't have believed it.

No, it doesn't bother him because for better or for worse... Probably worse? The sentiments McGillis shares, what he does feel; a selfish possessiveness, it feels more precious in how distinct it is. It's far more concrete of a feeling. Izou isn't sure he knows what it feels like to be loved in the way McGillis is discussing, but he understands this emotion. And he likes it.

So he slides off of the arm he's perched on, onto McGillis's lap.]

S'fine. I don't love you either. But when I look at you... I get this feeling like I wanna tear into you like a wild animal. It's different from how I feel about anyone else and I dunno really want to call it.

[He finishes off the rest of the drink in his glass because McGillis is wrong, he's not drunk ENOUGH to have this conversation.]

[ And just like that, it ceases to matter that McGillis was trying to have this talk in hushed voices as to not draw anybody's attention - Izou is very publicly on top of him now, just like was very publicly drawing him into a kiss just two weeks ago. Maybe this time everyone is actually too distracted and/or asleep to notice them. Maybe. McGillis knows better than to count on it.

And even so, he makes no move to toss Izou off his lap. He just takes the now-empty glass from his hands, puts it on the side table, and then settles his arms around the other man's waist, a comfortable loose hold. ]

Tear into me? Or tear me apart?

[ These seem like adjacent but not entirely exchangeable emotions, so he feels like he ought to clarify. The threat of murder still looms between them, never called off for certain. ]

[Izou settles snugly into the hold, somehow with an air of almost smug pride as if it's a throne and only he's good enough to sit upon it. His Little Dog Energy.]

I dunno, S'first time I've tried to put it into words.

[He considers it for another long moment.]

Well you know, it's like how you can feel attached ta people in different ways? S'like you feel it in different parts of your body. With Mafuyu an' Yi Sang an' Sunrise it's in my head, my brain, I like 'em. Celeste and Eli too, but then with those two it's also, y'know, down there.
[He's... He's trying to describe platonic and sexual affection. Which leaves... The secret third thing;]

But you it's like... I feel weird all over. Like I'm gonna go crazy and that's what makes me wanna bite you.

[ McGillis had not actually expected Izou to try and deal with this matter to honestly and earnestly. There's real communication here, however awkward. And the sentiments described... ]

Good.

[ It's exactly how McGillis wants Izou to feel about him. He doesn't have a word for it either, other than... well, isn't that love in its own perverted forms? It feels romantic. It feels like they should just burn up together and see what remains at the end of it. A destructive, passionate sentiment McGillis would not have allowed himself to revel in before dying. ]

After all I want to devour you, too.

[ Completely eat him up, take him apart limb from limb and then put him back together properly - Izou is built up of so many parts McGillis would be unashamed to want, but they fit together wrong and the unfitting edges probe into McGillis' soul - uncomfortable, raw, vulnerable.

He's not in love with Izou. To be in love is more gentle, more safe and secure, it comes with time and familiarity. Maybe he could be in love with Izou, one day. He doesn't know if he'd even want that. ]

So... yes, it bothered me to see you flirt your way through everyone else.

[Can't believe McGillis is still set on giving Izou the My Fair Lady treatment /s

Izou's thoughts are far less openly destructive and pessimistic, but it's clear they're somewhat aligned in the way McGillis's violent imagery just seems to make him almost tremble the way the phrase excites him. It's the raw, feral intensity that they both share that make this whole situation so stimulating. What brought interest and seeking understanding to something more bordering on... The romance neither of them is willing to call by that name.

That said, he sighs, half contented and the admission and half annoyed.]

Well see that's what I'm sayin'! It ain't the same thing! Like... Ta me, I don't see why if you find yer friends attractive you can't fool around with 'em a bit.

[To Izou, sex is just a Bonding Activity sometimes! One he likes a lot.]

But like... [And he actually takes care to lower his voice here.] I wouldn't call... The other night. That wasn't just foolin' around. S'different somehow. I dunno if that makes sense.

[ When it's about sex, the two of them really come from completely different places and mindsets. McGillis would not fool around with friends for fun, and even all the fooling around he's done when he was younger he wouldn't necessarily consider 'fun'.

But well. There's one thing he agrees on and that is that last point. ]

It does. All my past encounters were either matters of force or quick affairs with the end goal of brief relief. I get up, I shower and I leave. It's so distant now, I barely recall the names of men I've been with.

But I'll remember you. [ Regardless of where this goes, regardless of how badly they fuck it up, he'll remember. ]

[Matters of force... What a way to put it. While the manner of the more consensual encounters is technically new information, it doesn't really come as a surprise. That sounds like a way the more buttoned up McGillis shown to most people would go about it.

The note about him... Is a little flustering but mostly he's like. But of course. He is desireable and good at sex!! You better remember him!!!]

Obviously. Ya don't go puttin' all your effort into makin' someone lose their damn mind from yer dick on a passin' fancy. You've been bewitched by sword genius Okada Izou!!

[IZOU CAN YOU STOP BRAGGING AND FOCUS.]

... I tell you it's the only sex that ever actually meant something to me, and this is how you respond?

[ DISGUSTINGLY UNROMANTIC. BLOCKED. ]

[WELL GOSH WHEN YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT!!!]

I thought you didn't wanna get all... Emotional about it!
[YOU'RE RUINING OUR PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY OF NOT BEING IN LOVE, MCGILLIS.]

But... me too I guess. S'the only time it felt like more than just... Like it was like my brain got off too insteada just my body.

[Elegant. Is this what you wanted, McGillis.]

[ This... makes an unfortunate amount of sense to McGillis. It's barely above gibberish but it actually manages to describe the precise feeling of relief that came with doing it with each other.

So McGillis reaches up to run a hand along Izou's cheek, briefly playing with his hair between his fingers as he goes. ]

Just because it's not love doesn't mean there's no emotion worth mentioning here.

[Izou doesn't really see what the difference is at that point but he'll accept it because he is also refusing to consider things being more than he's willing to see them as.

And he'll lean into that touch, regardless. Pet him yes please thank you.]

Well yer gonna have to figure out what it is exactly because this is more complicated than me and Ryouma even, and I needed a whole palace to figure that out.

[ The touch had been meant as a fleeting indulgence, but when Izou leans into it... Well, McGillis decides that he can leave his hand there and pet him some more. This is fine.

And then Izou brings up the other big issue in the room, the specters of men they were forgetting by collapsing into one another. ]

Oh, so you did figure it out for good? What is he to you, now?

[ Maybe this is even more important to settle than whatever the deal is with Eli and Celeste. ]

[Hell yeah!!! Pets!!! Another thing Izou and Eli have in common, dog boys that they are.]

Mm. I mean, after all that palace shit I decided that I wanted ta stop being mad at him but...

[He shifts a little, really wedging himself in. Comfy.]

Hookin' up with him always felt different than being with anyone else... But then bein' with you was different too. So I decided it's really jus' like how I feel about Eli and Celeste, y'know?

[Hitting McGillis with the one-two punch of "oh yeah I slept with Ryouma before, probably multiple times from this phrasing" and then "but sleeping with you made me realize that I wasn't in love with him or the secret worse thing we are doing."]

[ The petting stops. McGillis is not removing his hand or anything, he's just... freezing mid-movement, because HUH?! There's a lot wrapped up in these statements and he's not sure he saw any part of it coming.

Well, that's not true, he did see it coming that Izou is attracted to Ryouma - how could he not have been? The rest of it though... Consummate attraction, and then-- ]

... I see.

[ This whole time he'd still believed himself to be something of a stand-in for Ryouma. Fighting the invisible shadow of the Other Man, an act that brought him a cynical sense of satisfaction. But if it's... ]

But you're not in love with me.

[ Just. Re-confirming this. ]

[McGillis is so territorial he's inventing imaginary adversaries to be besting in his mind. Very normal. They are both dancing on the edge of plausible deniability.]

Mm. It's something else, but it's still like... More intense than with other people I like.

[The way neither of them are even considering that they're simply mid way through the process of falling in love. Because they're too busy being weird and intense and using violent metaphors to express that.]

[ Knowing he has Ryouma beat in this area really makes McGillis feel like he wants to dig his claws into Izou and never let go.

The hand on Izou's cheek moves again, though not to continue the petting but rather to run a thumb over Izou's lips. ]

I think... I could have once fallen in love with Gaelio. He'd been by my side for 20 years, a constant presence, a warm place in the sun when I was freezing in my own house.

[ Give him a minute, he's actually going somewhere with this. ]

You don't make me feel safe like that. You make me feel like I'm going to be dissected inside-out by hungry eyes seeking to claim every last dirty hidden part of my being.

When I was alive, I would have killed you for the mere attempt at peering behind the curtain. But now... People have averted their eyes from my truth for too long. I like that you won't avert yours.

[ Always one thing or another, always a hollow shape, a mask, never a fully rounded person. "Look at me", Gaelio used to scream at McGillis, and now McGillis gets it. But Gaelio had never been looking at him either, had he now? ]

So I want to make you mine, with or without love. Is that acceptable?

Edited 2024-10-12 14:50 (UTC)

[McGillis is saying a lot of stuff, which is probably what Izou deserves for how he brought up Ryouma. It's funny, the way they mirror each other with these other men, who maybe in a different situation they could have fallen for properly. Izou hadn't been totally alone the way McGillis had in his home, but Ryouma had still been the one that dragged him alongside him into being something greater than he could have been alone. He understands the feeling.

The hypothetical murder threat to Izou is just a matter of course. Only fair. If other factors hadn't been in play he'd have fully committed to killing McGillis too.]

Mm. People're always saying shit ta me about how I gotta act. "Don't be so loud," "You shouldn't enjoy killin' people," "take this more seriously," always some issue with how I'm too much of whatever they don't want. You ain't never tryin' to change me even when I'm pissing you off, and it makes me feel... [He doesn't want to say safe after what McGillis said. Fuck, what can he say instead.] comfortable?

... I wanna be the beast that keeps you in line, but I also wanna be... I want you to feel like you can rely on me. Like ... A guard dog, but one that'll rip its masters throat out if he gets out of line. Is that the same as what you want?

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