NETWORK @MANSLAYER

[goei]

[This post goes up pretty late on Wednesday night;]

this whole thing don't make any goddamn sense
'M good at fightin' an all but it's not like there ain't touchy feely types who can't also handle a fight
You got that damn prettyboy knight who looks like he aughta smell like roses
an' that golden guy who's all concerned 'bout people communicatin'
Even maid-san could probably make friends if she tried an' she sure's hell can fight
Prob'ly plenty others who can do both

So why me?
I ain't suited fer makin' friends
'M just a killer

They should've picked someone like Ryoma
Ryoma's always the one gettin' picked anyway
No one wants Okada Izou
S'that why I never get used right?

Comments

[drawnorigin]

Mr. Okada, I'm not sure if this is an intentional request for help or if you are simply inebriated or otherwise impacted by the manipulation of our emotional vulnerability.

[goei]

Stop usin' all them big words ya don't have ta rub it in that you think yer smarter than me

[drawnorigin]

I don't think I'm smarter than you. Truthfully, my education was quite lacking, as my parents couldn't afford to pay for it.

I'm simply concerned, but I don't want to place my concern on someone who wants nothing to do with it.

[goei]

there ain't nothin' ta be concerned about I'm fuckin fine
I ain't the kinda guy weak enough ta ask fer help

Just sometimes when I'm drinkin' I get some kinda thoughts

[drawnorigin]

Why do you believe that asking for help would make you weak? Someone caring about you and listening to the thoughts you have doesn't make you a less capable person.

It's like performing the trapeze over a net. It doesn't take away from the performance, but it provides confidence in the artist that they won't have a fall they can't recover from.

Regardless, it's not like you can pretend there's not a problem anyways, so caginess isn't going to convince anyone.

[goei]

I gotta be strong enough t'handle things by m'self
otherwise 'm more trouble than 'm worth

doesn't matter if there's a problem 'm dead already anyway so what's th'point?

[drawnorigin]

Death is no excuse for languishing in misery. You're capable of thinking and feeling at this very moment, aren't you? So you gain nothing from stubbornly insisting that things are pointless.

All you're doing is admitting you're afraid of your emotions, even if you don't realize that.

[goei]

Die
I ain't scare of nothin'

And you dunno shit
Relyin' on other people's why I died in th'first place

[drawnorigin]

Oh, I get it now.

So you don't want anyone to betray your trust or disappoint you again. Things make a lot more sense, now.

[goei]

Yeah

S'why it's better t'just be on my own

[drawnorigin]

Excepting for the fact that you're lonely and yearning for validation and a purpose.

[goei]

Fuck you
I got a purpose

[drawnorigin]

Do you have one that's your own, or the one that your Master gave you?

[the worst part of all of this is jeno isn't even trying to be a dick]

[goei]

what's it matter? A purpose's a purpose

[drawnorigin]

Don't you want to do something that is purely of your own decision? Without being bound by anyone else's will?

It matters because if it's not something you've chosen for yourself or your life, and you deserve to have that much agency, being a servant or not.

[sorry izou he didn't hear the capitals in that conversation]c

[goei]

it ain't that kinda servant I told ya

but anyway that's philosophy shit I ain't built fer tryna reason all that out
I ain't that smart, alright?